


Cut to the Feeling

by myrmidryad



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Bisexual Kyle Valenti, Bisexuality, Consent Issues, Everyone is Bisexual, M/M, Sex Pollen, Sexual Experimentation, Sexuality Crisis, because sex pollen makes consent kind of impossible by definition, discussions of parent death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:16:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 33,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27914404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myrmidryad/pseuds/myrmidryad
Summary: After Kyle texted back and forth with Max to find a time that worked for both of them (surprisingly difficult, given their separately demanding work schedules), they both arrived at the school on a Sunday afternoon, armed to the teeth with industrial grade cleaning supplies.When Max and Kyle go to clean up Liz's lab after Max exploded it, they inexplicably end up having sex. The fallout isn't what either of them necessarily expect.
Relationships: Isabel Evans & Max Evans & Michael Guerin, Max Evans/Kyle Valenti
Comments: 60
Kudos: 67





	1. Kyle

**Author's Note:**

> I just think it would be nice if they were boyfriends!
> 
> For this fic, just imagine that no one found Mr Jones at the end of S2. Everything else is basically the same.
> 
> Title from, of course, [Cut to the Feeling](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qlsu7RhOnsQ) by Carly Rae Jepsen, whose Emotion album was most of my backing music while I wrote this. Try to tell me Kyle Valenti doesn't love Carly Rae Jepsen, I dare you.

Kyle heard about Max blowing up Liz’s lab from Alex, who was being very calm at the same time as being incredibly pissed off that all the work he’d put into setting up a secret lab for them had been potentially jeopardised. “I get why he had to do it, he said these scientists were pulling up to the school when the place blew, but…ugh. I can blame it on kids screwing around if anyone comes looking, but there’ll be detritus. Did you know Liz was doing this?” He narrowed his eyes. “Is that a stupid question?”

Kyle shifted guiltily in his seat. The low lighting in the Wild Pony didn’t hide it at all. “I told her to stop.”

Alex closed his eyes. “Okay. I was gonna ask this as a favour, but it turns out you owe me.”

That was fair. “What am I doing?” 

“Going over to the school whenever you’re next free, preferably with Max, and cleaning up anything incriminating.”

Kyle sighed. “Yeah, okay. Uh, I actually have more not-great news.” He couldn’t call it bad news that Steph was alive, but he knew that objectively there were some issues with it.

Alex’s jaw got so tense as Kyle relayed the facts that had the occasion been a little lighter, Kyle might have recommended a mouthguard to protect his teeth. Steph no longer being in Roswell wasn’t reassuring for either of them – she was happy to believe that it was a miracle, and go back to living her life with a new zest for it, but if something turned up in a future medical test, none of them would be on hand to run interference.

Kyle had been so overwhelmed with gratitude when he’d realised what Liz had done, but now Steph was gone, he was thinking more and more about all the ways this could blow back on them. There was nothing to do though. It was just another problematic loose end. And even if there were issues in the future, he still couldn’t wish it otherwise.

After texting back and forth with Max to find a time that worked for both of them (surprisingly difficult, given their separately demanding work schedules), they both arrived at the school on a Sunday afternoon, armed to the teeth with industrial grade cleaning supplies. In practice, that meant two really sturdy brooms, a shovel, plastic bins for the trash, and lots of bleach. 

“You doing okay?” Kyle asked as they headed in. “I know this isn’t an appointment or anything, but your heart’s feeling good?”

“You’re as bad as. Liz.” Max paused mid-eyeroll, obviously still not used to her absence. Kyle winced in sympathy – if anyone could sympathise with pining for Liz, it was him.

“At least it’s actually my job,” Kyle said, refusing to wallow in the awkward moment. 

“I guess.”

“Don’t cowboy it up,” Kyle warned him. “The macho guys die first, y’know.”

“Yes, thank you, I have been made thoroughly aware.” 

Kyle knew Max just well enough by now to interpret his tone as gruff but not genuinely irritated, and he gave him a grin in response. “Just checking; I don’t want you slacking on this job.”

“As if I don’t do enough cleaning for Maria now already,” Max sighed. “If I hear ‘if you’ve got time to lean, you’ve got time to clean’ one more time…”

“You’ll nod politely and grab the mop?”

Max snorted. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“We’ve all been there, dude.”

“Yeah?” Max gave him a curious look as they finished climbing the stairs and headed into what remained of the lab, which still stank of smoke. “You never had a job in Roswell, did you? During high school, I mean.”

“No, but I did in college, at CVS. Just as a store assistant, lowest rung on the ladder, but it was in the right area.”

They started on opposite ends of the room, figuring that they could group the trash in the centre and shovel it into the bins when there was a good pile of it. Kyle guessed it would take two or three hours at least – there was a lot of trash, and since they couldn’t exactly sift through it all to find out what was incriminating and what wasn’t, they would just have to scrape up as much as they physically could, and bleach what they couldn’t.

It was hard work, and in the windowless room, Kyle soon had to take his jacket off. He and Max worked in comfortable silence, and Kyle smiled when he saw Max strip to his shirt as well, a short-sleeved button-up. When he’d cleared a decent strip along his side of the room, he paused to take a drink, and held it out to Max too when he saw him looking.

“Thanks, man.” Max came over, shaking his head. His hair was long enough now that it was falling in his face, and Kyle could smell him, his aftershave or whatever it was sharpened by the physical work. That other smell was there too, the dust-after-rain smell Kyle could never remember the name of. Max took the bottle and took two gulps, and clearly could’ve drained the whole bottle. Kyle nodded when he lowered it.

“I’ve got another bottle in my car, you can finish it if you want.”

“Yeah?” Max gave him a grateful smile and took another couple of gulps, head tipped back. Kyle leaned back against the wall and surveyed how much they’d done, and how much they still had to do. Max had cleared an identical amount of floor on the other side of the room, which might have been intentional, either trying to keep up with Kyle or deliberately slowing down to match him.

His hair looked better long. Kyle stared at it as Max leaned against the wall next to him, and then looked forward to make himself stop. Could he feel Max’s body heat? The aliens did have a higher base body temperature than humans did, but he didn’t know if they were standing close enough that he would be able to feel it. 

Their arms were both bare. Kyle glanced down at them as Max passed his water bottle back, and Kyle took it with a quiet sound of gratitude, tipping his own head back to take another drink. Was Max watching him?

No, but he was standing very close.

Kyle screwed the lid back onto his bottle and leaned down to put it on the floor. He stayed leaning against the wall when he straightened up, and so did Max, the two of them standing in silence. It was companiable. Easy.

Kyle rolled his shoulders, still hot, pressing himself back into the coolness of the wall in the vain hope that it would help. Going back to clearing the lab was deeply unappealing – so much nicer to just stand here next to Max, whose body heat he was sure he could feel now.

He looked down at their bare arms, vaguely curious. They were closer than he’d thought, their elbows maybe three inches apart. Their shoulders were even closer, and when Max shifted – maybe looking to see what Kyle was looking at, maybe trying to get to a colder piece of wall – their wrists touched.

Kyle could definitely feel the heat there this time. He smiled and glanced up at Max’s face, trying to put together a sentence and totally failing. “Petrichor,” he remembered suddenly, some random synapse sparking in his brain.

Max blinked “Huh?”

“The.” Kyle looked down at their arms again and moved to bump their elbows together. It was like Max had a fever. “The rain smell,” he explained, speaking quieter than he’d meant to. “It’s not rain, exactly. It’s the…the smell of, um, dry earth when rain finally falls on it.” He bumped their elbows together again, seeking that heat again, and this time Max moved his arm to chase the contact. When they separated again, Max made an annoyed sound and twisted his wrist to grab Kyle’s forearm.

Blazing hot. Kyle wondered if he felt cool to Max, like all humans were cold-skinned vampires to the touch of his alien species. The warmth was so pleasant, and Kyle moved so he was only leaning on his shoulder, his body turning towards Max’s like a flower to the sun. His other hand settled instinctively on Max’s waist as Max turned towards him too, and that wasn’t good enough, so Kyle slid his hand under Max’s shirt and they both breathed out in relief as his palm flattened against Max’s skin.

Kyle took a deep breath in and moved closer, pulling his wrist from Max’s grip and pushing that hand under Max’s shirt too. Max copied him, broad hands sliding easily under the hem of Kyle’s t-shirt and up his back, pulling him in with a tug that made a much more familiar heat kindle in the pit of Kyle’s stomach.

Max was only two, maybe three inches taller than Kyle, but that difference felt bigger this close. Kyle closed his eyes and hummed in pleasure as Max’s warm hands smoothed up and down his back. For himself, he settled one hand at the small of Max’s back and brought the other round to his front, sliding up his chest to feel him there. The scar was big, of course, and as if he was thinking of it too, Max made a quiet sound deep in his throat when Kyle dragged his thumb up it, even though the skin was probably numb there.

Max smelled like no one else Kyle had ever touched, and he was in the perfect place to turn his head and press the bridge of his nose to Max’s jawline and inhale deeply. It made Max pull him closer, and Kyle groaned when their fronts came into contact. His cock was filling slowly, not yet hard but well on the way. He knew how to get it there, and he yanked the hand that had been on Max’s chest out from under his shirt and used it to curl around the side of Max’s neck instead. A thumb below his jaw, fingertips in the long hair at the nape of his neck, tight grip as he nudged Max’s chin up and pressed his mouth to the stubble below his jaw.

Max moaned, fingers clutching against Kyle’s back, and his hips rocked forward, shifting his legs so he could push one leg between Kyle’s. Kyle pulled him away with a hand on the back of his belt, then reached down to adjust himself so his hard-on (which was absolutely there now, goddamn) was better positioned. Getting the idea, Max did the same, and Kyle opened his mouth against his neck and groaned when Max dared a grope before grabbing his waist again and pulling him in tight.

Kyle pushed Max back against the wall and plastered himself against him, hoping for Max to pull him in tight again. He wasn’t disappointed, and he kissed Max’s neck again as Max wrapped both arms around him and held him close, held him in place as he ground against him. Less of a kiss than just an opening of his mouth and flattening of his tongue against the exposed skin, really. Sloppy and hungry, touch-drunk, edging closer to frantic.

Not touch-drunk yet. Touch-tipsy, maybe. Teased with the potential for more. Kyle scraped his teeth against Max’s jaw and wound a hand into his hair, getting a good handful and sighing at how soft it was. Max moaned again and pushed Kyle’s shirt up, bunching it under his arms and reaching up with one hand to cup the back of Kyle’s head and urge it back.

They held each other’s gaze for a second, maybe less before Max’s eyes dropped to Kyle’s lips and they kissed. Moving together, pressing closer and opening their mouths to each other immediately. Kyle’s breath caught in his chest as Max’s tongue pressed against his, a touch and gone, back and gone again as he kissed Kyle over and over until Kyle was gripping his hair and forcing him to slow down.

He bit Max’s lip and felt him gasp, and took advantage of his surprise to tilt his head and arch his whole body up, pushing Max back and relishing the hungry sound he made in response. Relishing it even more when Max squeezed him with the arm around his waist and spun them so Kyle’s back hit the wall. Max’s hand stayed at the back of his head to stop him hitting that on the wall too, and Kyle hooked his leg around the back of Max’s knee and yanked him in again.

Now they’d started kissing, Kyle couldn’t stop. Max made the most delicious sounds, quiet grunts and heavy exhales that Kyle drank up and gave back in equal measure. They dragged each other’s shirts off in increments, Kyle popping a couple of buttons on the front of Max’s in his determination to get more skin contact. Chest to chest was amazing, the softness of their stomachs there and gone again as they breathed. 

Max only had a little chest hair, and Kyle had none, so there was literally nothing between them at all as they pressed as close as physically possible, gasping into each other’s mouths and grabbing at each other’s arms, backs, necks. Kyle breathed out a high noise as Max’s tongue flicked against his ear, thrusting in a steady rhythm that Max matched perfectly. 

One of Max’s hands was right at the base of his spine, his fingertips just below the line of Kyle’s jeans, and it was such a tease, such a glorious, infuriating tease. Kyle turned his head to kiss Max again, thrusting harder, and he felt it when Max got up to the edge. He shoved his hips forward harder, slower, and froze up for a second before his whole body shuddered as he came.

Kyle groaned, dropping one hand down to the curve of Max’s ass to hold him in place. It made Max shudder again, and he finally shoved his hand further down below Kyle’s waistband, as much as he could with Kyle’s belt still done up. It took him a minute longer, finally tipped over the edge by Max’s mouth on his jaw, breathing heavy and desperate in Kyle’s ear.

Having come, Kyle could relax a little and lean backwards to run both hands down Max’s chest. His scar bisected it, and Kyle ducked down to kiss the very top of it, sliding one arm behind Max’s back to keep as much of their skin touching as possible. Max arched into him, seeming to bask in Kyle’s attention, his hands dancing light and warm along Kyle’s shoulders and sides.

They made out and touched for long minutes, just stroking each other’s skin and licking into each other’s mouths, sighing and humming pleasantly. Kyle was definitely touch-drunk now, practically dizzy with it, and he kept breaking away from Max’s mouth to kiss him in other places. Eventually, he manoeuvred Max so he was against the wall again and lowered himself slowly to his knees, kissing his way down Max’s chest and stomach.

Max made a displeased sound until Kyle started to undo Max’s belt and fly, shuffling back a little to pull Max’s jeans and underwear down. His cock wasn’t hard again yet, and it had still-drying come smeared across it. 

A hand fluttered at the back of Kyle’s head, and he turned to grab it and kiss Max’s palm, looking up at him and grinning when Max smiled a little, seemingly soothed. Kyle kissed his palm again, then leaned in to kiss his hip, then the soft skin above his bellybutton. Max’s stomach jumped when Kyle pushed his jeans down to his ankles and ducked down to take him into his mouth, sucking lightly.

“Ah!” Max’s hands both leapt to Kyle’s head, but he didn’t pull him off. Kyle sank down onto his heels properly and wrapped one arm behind Max’s bare legs, his other hand flattening against the sparse hair on one of his thighs. Max’s cock began to thicken and fill, and Kyle smoothed his tongue around it, cleaning it, thrilling at the sensation of it growing heavier on his tongue.

“Oh,” Max breathed, so low Kyle barely heard him. “Oh, shit.”

“Mmmmmmm.” Kyle drew back and rubbed his tongue over the head of Max’s cock as it grew, his foreskin pulling back. Uncut, like him. He was slightly obsessed with knowing he was going to taste Max’s precome imminently. Absolutely obsessed with the idea of Max coming in his mouth. Kyle groaned again just at the thought and shoved himself closer, sucking Max down and sighing in pure satisfaction when Max choked out a desperate sound above him.

Kyle lost himself in it. Now he was here, he couldn’t bear to pull off for even a moment, even as his jaw began to ache from holding his mouth open around Max for so long. It was worth it. For Max’s breathy moans and bitten-off exclamations, for the way Kyle could get his hands all over Max’s legs, for the way he could squeeze Max’s ass and feel his cock twitch in his mouth.

His jaw fucking ached, but he kept going, drooling a little, easing his gag reflex down until he could get Max right to the back of his tongue without choking, right to the back of his throat. Max kept both hands on Kyle’s head the whole time, one cradling the back of his skull, the other cupping Kyle’s jaw, long fingers against his neck, just brushing his adam’s apple.

Kyle was hard again now, another sensation he couldn’t quite manage to pay more than the bare minimum of attention to. He kept touching Max instead, gripping his thighs, sucking his cock, heat curling in his groin every time Max made a particularly desperate sound. His hand on Kyle’s jaw was so gentle, it was almost trembling.

“Fuck,” he breathed. “I’m – Kyle –”

Kyle squeezed the backs of his thighs, just under his ass, and didn’t stop or slow down. Max went still without the harder thrusts of before, holding himself back and taking deep, shuddery breaths before his cock pulsed at the back of Kyle’s throat.

He swallowed and kept swallowing, eyes closed and body aching. Max dragged his fingers through Kyle’s hair and finally pulled his head back, forcing him to let Max’s softening cock slip from his mouth. “Holy shit,” Max breathed, and got down on his knees too to press the side of his face to Kyle’s, pulling him close and then bearing him down onto the floor, the concrete cold against his back.

Max’s hands made fast work of Kyle’s belt, and Kyle lifted his hips up to let Max drag his jeans down. He’d been able to ignore his own arousal while he’d been so super-focused on sucking Max off, but he was desperate now, almost writhing to get as much of Max’s skin against his as possible. He worked his sneakers off by dragging the heels against the ground, needing to be free of his pants so he could wrap his legs around Max, who was crowding him back against the ground and kissing him fiercely.

The heat of his body was enough to keep Kyle from shivering, even with his whole back side exposed to the chill concrete. He ground up against Max’s stomach and then reached down to start stroking himself, sighing with relief into Max’s mouth. He needed to come, soon. He was losing his fucking mind, his jaw still in pain, his cock so hard it almost hurt, his whole body straining for release.

Max spat into his hand and twisted it down between them to help, and Kyle relinquished his grip immediately. Max’s hand on him was everything he wanted right now, coupled with the rest of his body heavy and warm on top of Kyle’s. Kyle couldn’t kiss him back and just threw his head to the side as he got closer to coming, every exhale a cry pushed out of him, volume control way beyond his ability to even consider.

He thrust into Max’s grip and shook all over as he came. Max dragged it out, stroking him through an implausible number of aftershocks till Kyle was trembling and pushed his face against Max’s to kiss him into stopping.

Max pulled his hand away and wiped it – somewhere, Kyle didn’t care – and pressed himself down without apparently minding what mess was left between their stomachs. Kyle experienced a brief flash of disbelief that he and Max Evans were lying here, holding each other as tightly as possible and still turning kisses into each other’s mouths, but then one of Max’s hands slid down to palm the curve of Kyle’s ass and thigh, pulling it up to stroke all the way down to his knee, and Kyle moaned his appreciation.

It was just so _good_. So satisfying, like scratching an itch or stretching a muscle. Kyle combed his fingers through Max’s hair and relaxed, tipping his head back when Max nudged him to and grinning at Max’s teeth on his throat. “That’s nice,” he breathed, voice shockingly hoarse.

“Yeah?” Max bit his collarbone, and Kyle hummed encouragingly. 

They worked their way up to a third round with delicious slowness, though still faster than Kyle would have believed possible. Max’s smell was all around him, so strong that Kyle kept closing his eyes and feeling like he was smelling a storm rolling in. Except the storm was human-shaped and dark-haired, hot-skinned and hungry for more. 

Max held him down with hands on his chest and kissed his way up Kyle’s cock when he was hard again, teasing, going so slow Kyle groaned and wrapped a leg around his back. His mouth was fantastically warm and wet, his tongue sliding against the head of Kyle’s cock over and over until his chest was heaving and he was mouthing pleas, every now and then voicing one out loud.

Kyle pulled him back up and hawked into his palm to reach down not to Max’s cock, but lower. Between his thighs, behind his balls, slicking a space for himself and guiding Max to lie with his legs pressed together. Max groaned against Kyle’s neck when Kyle pushed his cock between his thighs, Max’s dick trapped tight between their stomachs.

“Yeah?” he whispered against Max’s cheek, and felt him nod, the muscles in his thighs clenching a second later. Kyle held him with one arm around his back and another on his ass, pulling him in as he thrusted up. Max made a shuddery sound, higher than usual, and ground down against Kyle in return.

They rutted against each other on the floor, driving each other on with increasing vigour. Max lost the ability to do anything but hold himself up and make beautiful sobbing sounds as Kyle fucked his thighs, coming in a fierce rush with his mouth open against Max’s hairline, teeth pressed to his skin.

He was sure Max was close too now, so close that trying to get a hand between them to jerk him off would just slow it down. He dropped both hands to Max’s ass and yanked him in harder on every thrust, urging him on until Max cried out and came, spurting hot and wet in the scant space between their bodies.

That bone-deep satisfaction was so strong that all Kyle could do was smile, and after a moment slide a hand into Max’s hair and ease him back gently for a long kiss. They kissed slowly for what felt like a long time, until Max slid sideways to lie half on top of Kyle, half on the floor so they could both turn their heads sideways and keep kissing lazily.

Max was a good kisser. Kyle had kind of suspected, but the first-hand confirmation was pretty great. Max was a guy who knew how to use his tongue without getting sloppy, who used his teeth sparingly to greater effect. His stubble was a pleasant contrast to the smoothness of his lips, and Kyle sighed as they slowed and finally stopped. They were still wrapped up in each other, Max’s arm draped over Kyle’s chest and Kyle’s over Max’s shoulders, stroking absently up and down his arm.

Kyle wasn’t comfortable enough that he could’ve fallen asleep – the floor was far too hard, and he was beginning to get cold – but if they’d been in a bed he would’ve been snoring already. Max still smelled so good, and Kyle could smell their sweat and spunk mixed in with that in the warm way that smelled good when he’d had a hand in making it.

“Kyle?”

“Mmm?”

Max was very still. “What are we doing?”

Kyle opened his eyes and looked at him, frowning a little. “What d’you mean?”

Very slowly, Max lifted his arm off Kyle’s chest and slid away from him. Kyle sat up, letting him go, and gave a big full-body shiver. The concrete had warmed a little under his body, but the air was still chilled in the windowless room. The windowless room still mostly full of trash and streaked with soot. Kyle looked around, alarm beginning to dawn on him as he realised they’d been fucking on the floor before they’d even properly cleaned it. He’d only given his side of the room a cursory sweep for glass.

Kyle looked back at Max, who was staggering to his feet and yanking up his pants, which had never come off. He was wearing laced boots, and they’d been too horny to pause for even a second for him to take them off. Which was…not normal, now Kyle was thinking about it.

“The water,” Max said, steadying himself for a moment with a hand against the wall, his eyes wide and hair wild. “We both had some of that water. That has to be it.”

Kyle’s eyes found the bottle, almost empty and still standing on the floor where he’d left it. “It can’t be,” he said, frowning at it and then up at Max. “I just got it from my filter at home, there’s nothing special about it. Unless the whole town’s been affected and we don’t know. And – I drank a bit in my car before we even got here.” 

“Then what the hell is it?” Max hissed, buttoning up his jeans and grabbing his shirt off the floor. He scrubbed fruitlessly at the dried come on his stomach before giving up and just pulling his shirt on, buttoning it up as best he could.

“I don’t know.” Kyle cast around for his own clothes, his own awareness of how weirdly calm he was growing as Max became more freaked out.

“Well it has to be something!” Max swallowed. “I mean, did you. Did you want to do that?”

Kyle shook his head, getting to his feet and wincing at the feeling of grazed skin on his ass and shoulders. “Definitely wasn’t on my to-do list for the day,” he muttered, pulling on his underwear and jeans, searching around for wherever the hell his socks had gone. How the hell had he ended up completely naked?

Max stayed silent as Kyle got dressed, grabbing his jacket and pulling that on too. 

He’d been naked in front of Max Evans. 

Jesus, he’d been a lot more than naked in front of him – he’d had sex with him. He’d sucked Max Evans’ dick, and fucked his thighs, and kissed him so much his mouth felt sore.

Only now was he realising how fucked up that was.

“Okay,” he said, taking a deep breath before turning to face Max, who looked like he was wound so tightly he could go through the ceiling at the wrong word. “That was definitely not normal.”

“No kidding.” Max edged past him to get his own jacket as well, and Kyle went to pick up the bottle of water. “Whoa, what’re you doing?” Max snapped, and Kyle held his hands up.

“Chill, dude. Look, I’ll test it, but I don’t think it was the water.”

“What do you think it was then?” Max was all puffed up like a porcupine, and Kyle looked away, looking around the room at the charred remains of Liz’s lab.

“Maybe something in here,” he said slowly. “I don’t really know what sort of stuff Liz was messing around with, but she had bits of alien biology all over the place. Maybe when you lit this place up, something reacted to the heat?”

“Why didn’t it affect us straight away then?” Max demanded, and Kyle could hear the anxiety in his voice now. He’d heard similar tones from so many patients that it actually relaxed him, nudging him into doctor-mode.

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “Maybe everything settled and then we stirred it up?”

“It didn’t start till after we drank that water,” Max said, stubborn as ever. 

“Yeah, that’s true.” Kyle looked down at the bottle in his hand, fresh doubts creeping in. “How’d it even start? We shared some water, we were leaning against the wall. It wasn’t like, instantaneous though, was it?”

“When our elbows,” Max started, and stopped abruptly, taking a step back and then forward again. “The skin contact, maybe. Were you thinking of anything in particular?”

Kyle hesitated. “I don’t know.” But Max looked so on edge, and Kyle was beginning to feel worse and worse about everything they’d done. “Your hair,” he said, deciding that the least he could do was be honest. “I was thinking that you look better with longer hair. What about you?”

Max blinked, clearly taken aback. “Uh. I. Uh, I think maybe I was just thinking about how long it was gonna take us to clear the whole room, cause we’d done these bits pretty quick.”

“Right.” Well he felt like a real creep now, honest or not. Kyle grimaced and looked away, avoiding Max’s gaze by checking his watch. “We should probably…I mean, I wasn’t planning on being here past five, so.”

“It’s past five?” Max gaped at him.

“Not yet.” Kyle gave him an apologetic look. “It’s, uh. Half four.”

Max nodded, taking that in. “We should maybe not come back at the same time,” he said, not looking at Kyle. “In case it happens again, for whatever reason.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“And we’re not telling anyone,” Max added, which Kyle nodded to.

“Definitely not. We, uh.” He steeled himself. “We can’t just pretend it didn’t happen though.”

“Can’t we?” Max raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “I think we definitely can.”

“No, we shouldn’t though.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Okay well one.” Kyle held up his thumb. “That’s not healthy. And two.” He lifted a finger. “We’re adults who are perfectly capable of moving through whatever the hell just happened and not like…letting it get in the way of stuff. Like us still needing to clear this place up, and me still being your doctor. And we were kinda on the way to being friends too, so.”

Max looked kind of mollified by that, if troubled too. He kept shifting his weight from foot to foot, forehead wrinkled with a frown he directed everywhere but Kyle’s face.

“Also,” Kyle said, taking a deep breath. “I’m kinda freaking out about this right now, and I get that talking about stuff might not be your bag, but it’s better than holding it all in and misunderstandings getting out of control.”

Max grimaced, showing teeth and everything, and Kyle sighed. “You don’t seem like you’re freaking out,” Max muttered.

“Yeah, well, conceal, don’t feel and all that.” Kyle cleared his throat. “But like. Look, before we go, I just wanna…you know, I’m kinda freaking out about the whole lack of consent involved in this…with whatever happened to us.”

That at least got Max looking at him again, eyebrows raised. “Consent?”

“Yeah, dude.” Kyle had to make an effort to keep his voice steady. The absolute last thing they needed right now was for him to start yelling. “Like, we’ve established neither of us set out to have sex with each other today. And I know we were. Doing that stuff, but.” He swallowed. “Your body wanting something and your mind wanting something are pretty different things.” He really wished he hadn’t committed to testing the water for foreign substances, because he could really use a drink about now. Probably because his throat was still sore from sucking Max’s dick. 

“Sure, but look, if our bodies were under the influence, our minds definitely were too.” Kyle wasn’t sure, but it looked like Max was starting to blush. “Or, uh. Mine was.”

“No, yeah, same,” Kyle rushed to reassure him. “I just mean it’s not exactly a normal situation here. And like, don’t take this the wrong way, but, um.” He sort of regretted starting down this road, but he couldn’t back out now. “Have you ever had sex with a guy before?”

Max’s mouth opened and closed, and he blinked rapidly before saying, “Wait, have _you?_ ”

That was not the reaction Kyle had been expecting at all. He looked around like he was searching for a non-existent audience before giving Max a bemused stare. “Uh, yeah.”

“I thought you were straight!”

Kyle had to fight the urge to laugh. “Okay.” He had to supress a grin too. “Okay, well, I don’t know how me telling you that I’d participated in Taylor Swift drag night at Planet 7 gave you that impression, but this part at least is gonna make a really funny story one day.” Max didn’t look like he appreciated the humour in the situation, so Kyle made an extra effort to swallow his smiles and appear serious.

“Right. Um. Sorry.”

“It’s fine, I never –” _Came out and told you_ invited too many pun opportunities, so Kyle went with, “– said it explicitly.” Mostly because he hadn’t thought he’d had to, but whatever. He was pretty sure he’d also been drunk at the time anyway. “Look, I’m just saying, that was kind of a lot. So if you do wanna talk about it, I’m here.”

“I’m good,” Max said quickly. “Let’s just get outta here, okay?”

“Sure.” Kyle didn’t want to embarrass Max any further, and he needed a shower. And either a lot of booze or a lot of food, he wasn’t sure yet, but he knew he would figure it out by the time he got home.

He didn’t drink anything from his other bottle of water in his car just in case Max was right and it was the water that had set them off. And on the drive back to town, Kyle couldn’t help turning it all over in his head, feeling both horribly guilty and uncomfortably turned on by the memories.

He’d seen that Max was attractive before, sure, but he’d never been _attracted_ to him, not in the way he was usually attracted to men. But shit, he now had some really fresh memories of Max Evans’s naked body, and the sounds he made when he came, and he couldn’t deny that what they’d done had been very, very hot.

But he was also now realising that the way Max hadn’t taken his whole dick into his mouth and the way he’d used so much tongue on the head spoke of a lot more experience with eating out than sucking cock. And the way he’d looked almost surprised by his own reactions at times. The panic in his voice as he’d come to his senses faster than Kyle had.

Perhaps it wasn’t sexual assault in the traditional sense because neither of them had been fully conscious of their actions, but Kyle couldn’t stop coming back to the fact that neither of them had wanted to have sex either. They hadn’t made a conscious, informed choice to do that with each other, and Max didn’t even like men. Or if he did, he sure as hell wasn’t open about it, and as much as Kyle tried not to buy into stereotypes, Max Evans acted pretty fucking straight. And if he was, then that was another extra layer of fucked up on top of everything else.

Kyle was glad he’d pushed a shaky agreement to not just pretend it had never happened. Even if Max didn’t ever want to talk about it again, Kyle sure as hell did, and if Max didn’t even want to listen, then they’d have to figure out who else to let in on the secret, because Kyle was absolutely not letting this fester. It was too distracting. And Kyle knew himself well enough to know that he’d only wind himself in knots if he was allowed to think on what he and Max had done without any outside input.


	2. Max

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max reflects, talks, and does a little research.

Max was sure Kyle had only meant to be kind, but the idea of talking to him about. That. (Max hadn’t been aware that his own thoughts could stutter, but they sure fucking did over…all that. What he and Kyle had done. That.) Well. If Max couldn’t even think about it without wanting to curl into a ball and die, there was no way he could talk about it, and certainly not with Kyle.

Who had…done that. With him. 

Max went home and had the longest shower he’d allowed himself for a long time, touching himself as clinically as possible and trying very hard not to think of all the places Kyle had touched him. With his hands. And the rest of his body. And his mouth.

Kyle had really…done that, with his mouth.

Max wrestled back the urge to do something stupid like smash his head into the tiles. Once he was dry and dressed, he stuck a ready-meal in the oven and started drinking. It didn’t really help, though it did erode the stutters in his head when he thought about what he and Kyle had done.

Several drinks in, for example, he could actually think to himself that Kyle had given him a blowjob without wanting to die quite as badly. Though if they did never see each other again, that would be great. Max really didn’t know how to handle the fact that _Kyle Valenti_ had given him a blowjob. And that Max had tried to return the favour.

Jesus Christ.

Max went to bed with his head spinning, woke up with a horrible hangover, and thanked God he didn’t have to be at the Pony till noon. It gave him time enough for another shower (not as long – he was already feeling guilty about using so much water last night) and a lot of water and some acetone to dull the ache in his head.

He wasn’t quite at the point where he could shut his brain off while he worked, which he’d been dreading but actually worked to his advantage: having to concentrate properly on serving customers and not fucking up the till and properly counting change meant there was no room in his head for thinking about yesterday.

He didn’t smoke, but Maria had told him to take the occasional five minutes when he could spare them to step outside and get some air. It was fifty-fifty from night to night whether he did, but tonight he went out the back for a breather and checked his phone to find a message from Alex asking how much of the lab they’d managed to clear up.

Max’s first thought was that Alex had probably already checked with Kyle and wanted to cross-check their stories. The second thought wasn’t a thought so much as a wave of embarrassment so strong that Max wanted to slide down the wall and hide his head in his knees.

The idea of anyone finding out what he and Kyle had done was absolutely mortifying. It didn’t matter whether there had been something in the water or in the air or what – it didn’t change the fact that they’d done all that stuff. 

Didn’t change the fact that they’d been so sex-stupid that they hadn’t even gotten their pants off at first.

Max could feel how hot the back of his neck was and leaned against the wall with his eyes closed, trying to think of what to say to Alex. His thumbs hovered over the screen for almost a minute before he decided on something vague and short.

 **To: Alex Manes [22:16]**  
Less than we wanted to, we’ll need to go back and finish up another day.

He went back inside, thoroughly done with thinking about any of it, and flung himself back into work.

Of course, all those thoughts came back on his drive home, when all he had to focus on was the empty road and the memories that kept rising up no matter how much he tried to ignore them.

He still didn’t want to talk to Kyle (or maybe see him, or think about him, or acknowledge his existence in literally any way), but he couldn’t stop thinking about his offer to talk, or listen. And what he’d said about Max not being the first man he’d slept with.

That almost made it worse, because Max had to wonder whether Kyle was pitying him or worrying about him, or worse still, worrying about his reaction to it all. Max didn’t want Kyle to think he was avoiding him because he was homophobic, or…biphobic, he supposed, or whatever. Generally a bigot, either way. Though was it really bigoted to be absolutely freaking out about having had sex with a man and not hating it?

Max kept flinching away from that line of thinking. 

He had a couple of drinks before turning in, just to help ease him into sleep. The last thing he wanted was to lie awake in bed and think about Kyle, and everything they’d done.

Over the next couple of weeks, Kyle checked in with him a couple of times, and backed off with irritating grace when Max gave one-word or otherwise terse replies. Kyle’s water was completely normal as far as he could tell, having apparently given it a full tox screen at the hospital. They went back and finished cleaning up the lab separately, which took longer but was less risky. Max got uncomfortably hot both times he went to do his bits, but didn’t experience any weird, horny side-effects. Kyle said he had no way of testing what was in the air, and added that if it was something alien, it would likely not show up on any of the hospital’s screens anyway. It was a dead end. Something inexplicable that they would just have to write off.

Didn’t mean he was thinking about it all any less. And he could put Kyle off, but he was beginning to reluctantly come to terms with the idea that he should maybe talk to someone about…it. If not the details, then some of the related thoughts that were beginning to really take up space in his brain.

Isobel had noticed. And if Isobel thought he was acting weird and quiet, it would only be a matter of time before she started interrogating him. Lovingly, of course, but Max still didn’t want to tell anyone what had happened. He would take it to his deathbed and die happy.

It had reminded him that Kyle wasn’t the only bisexual person he knew though. And not even the only bisexual dude.

So he went over to the junkyard one morning with coffee and breakfast burritos for him and Michael, steeled to ask some uncomfortable questions.

He could hear a weird churning sound coming from the Airstream as he walked up, and he realised that it was the shower just as he knocked. Michael knocked back, two sharp raps from the back end of the trailer. “Out in a minute!” he shouted.

“Coffee’s getting cold,” Max yelled back.

“Max?”

“Yeah!”

Michael evidently sped up, because the water shut off a few seconds later. Max waited, listening to Michael’s feet on the Airstream floor as he got out of the shower and (hopefully) got a towel before making his way to the door. 

The towel was thankfully in place when he threw it open, frowning at Max. “Hey. You okay?”

“I’m okay enough to wait for you to get dressed, yeah.” Max jerked his chin at the trailer. “It’s nothing urgent, just wanted to see you.”

“Alright.” Michael didn’t sound like he exactly believed it, but he wasn’t entirely wrong, so Max let it slide. They really had been getting on better since Max had died, both of them edging carefully around topics that had set them off in the past, both aggressively pretending at being as close as they had been in high school; faking it till they made it.

Michael came out a minute later with his clothes on, hair still wet. “Coffee me,” he said, holding his hand out for Max to put the cup into. “Thanks.” He took a sip, then two gulps, and gave Max a considering look over the rim. “You alright if I start working?”

“Yeah, man.” Max gestured for him to go ahead, and Michael nodded and headed into the junkyard proper.

“Your car okay?”

Max rolled his eyes. “Purring like a kitten since the last time you fixed it, yeah. Relax, I told you it’s not urgent.”

“Yeah, but I don’t trust your judgement on urgency.” Michael smirked over his shoulder, then frowned. “Your heart’s okay, right?”

“Oh my God, Michael.” Max gave him a small shove to the shoulder. “Yes, ticking like a clock, calm down. I swear, I’m gonna visit you at least one morning a week if you’re this jumpy about me showing up at nine on a weekday.”

“Hey, if you bring me coffee, I won’t complain.” Michael went into the old, grimy front office, which was of course completely devoid of any sign of Sanders. Michael flipped the sign on the front to _OPEN_ , and flipped the sign below that, which read _HONK HORN FOR SERVICE._ “So what does bring you to Sanders’ Auto, if not engine trouble?” He collapsed into the chair behind the desk, which creaked ominously, and started booting up an ancient computer, finishing off the coffee in a few more gulps.

“It’s, uh. Just something I’ve been thinking about lately, y’know, with you and Isobel both being.” Max cleared his throat. “Y’know. Bisexual. Or, I don’t know, she hasn’t picked a label or anything.”

“Queer, I guess. Covers all your non-straight bases.” Michael frowned at him. “Is it bothering you?”

“No!” Max laughed a little. “No, I just started thinking, y’know, since Isobel came out. Maybe that’s the default state of our species.” He’d decided on that as his angle, to cover the truth. It worked well enough for the purpose of what he wanted to ask Michael about.

Michael’s frown had vanished (and Max decided not to be hurt that he’d thought Max would have any issue with him and Isobel being…queer? Not straight, anyway), a smile tickling the corners of his mouth instead. “Well it could be,” he said cheerfully. “A sample size of three is so small it’s basically meaningless, so who knows? I always thought it made more sense though, bisexuality. Like, logically speaking.”

Max leaned against the wall, raising an eyebrow. “How?”

“Bigger pool of potential partners, duh.” 

“But.” Max narrowed his eyes. “Reproductively speaking, why would you bother with the same sex?”

“Because humans – and presumably, aliens – don’t generally have sex to procreate. How many kids have you sired over the years you’ve been sexually active?” Michael snorted. “People fuck for fun, so it makes way more sense to be attracted to as many as possible, to increase your chances of having that fun.”

Max had to admit, that made sense. “Fair enough.”

Michael looked surprised by his easy agreement, and grinned, glancing at the computer and pausing to type in a login and password. “Believe it or not, I’ve done a bit of thinking about this.”

“I figured. Kinda why I wanted to ask you about it.”

“Because…” Michael gave him a curious look. “You think our species is naturally bisexual?”

“Maybe? I don’t know. Do you think so?”

“I like to think so. Hang on.” He clicked around on the computer for a minute, then rummaged around in a draw and came out with two sets of car keys, grabbing a big, rusty toolbox from the floor as he stood up. “Alright, come on. How come you’re asking me about this, not Isobel?”

Max snorted, following Michael back outside after dumping his empty cup in the trash can by the desk. “For one, she’d’ve already asked me who I’m crushing on.”

Michael gave him a startled look. “Are you –?”

“No!” Max shoved his shoulder again. “No. And she only figured this stuff out about herself pretty recently, and I know what sparked that off. And I guess she might’ve come to it on her own earlier if not for Noah, but.”

“Yeah.” Michael sounded kinda sad, but thinking about Noah always tripped something inside Max that made him angry. He couldn’t think about Noah without wanting to kill something, without wanting to kill Noah all over again. 

“So yeah.” He pushed Noah out of his mind. “You’ve known way longer. And, I don’t know, I kinda wanted to ask…when, I guess? Like, was it Alex?”

Michael got a funny look on his face, like he was trying to supress a smile. “Alex was…he was my first a lot of things. But I knew, before that. Hadn’t really thought about it much, and Alex was the first guy I ever – like I said, first a lot of things.” He shrugged awkwardly, leading Max over to a big grey Chevy with a long scratch down one side.

Max hung back as Michael unlocked it and got in to turn the engine over. Or tried to – it stuttered and died pretty much instantly, which Michael looked unsurprised by. “But you already knew,” Max said, as Michael got out and popped the hood.

“Uh huh.”

“Since when?”

“Since always, I guess. Since I started liking girls, maybe before, maybe after, I don’t know.” Michael shrugged, his hands light as they danced over the surface of the exposed engine before he glanced around and then flew his toolbox over. Max bit back an instinctive snap of alarm and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“It never…I don’t know, seemed weird?”

Michael snorted. “No. ‘Specially not after I got back to Roswell. If I’m another species, human sexuality norms don’t apply to me. And they don’t apply to humans either, when you look around. All this fuss over who’s attracted to who, like it makes a bit of difference.” He floated a wrench into his hand and started doing something Max couldn’t see, and wouldn’t have understood anyway. “I guess maybe I didn’t _know_ before Alex,” Michael said slowly. “I don’t know. I never really thought about it, like I said. I know I always thought it was dumb the way guys would pretend they couldn’t even tell if another guy was good-looking. Remember that?”

“Sure.”

“Right. And that’s just dumb, cause objective standards exist, it’s not gay to be able to look at another guy and recognise that he fits those standards.” Max could hear Michael rolling his eyes, even if he couldn’t see it. “But I guess maybe Alex is the guy who made me realise I wasn’t just like…jealous, or appreciative of other guys. It was a thing, like, a definite sexual and romantic thing.”

Max couldn’t help smiling. He’d worried that asking Michael about this would be embarrassing, but he forgot how forthright Michael was, and how unashamed. “It never freaked you out at all?”

“Nah. It kinda mattered more that Alex was human.” Michael straightened and looked down at the engine, his voice soft. “It didn’t matter that he was a boy. I used to think – it was easier to think, back then, that we were better than humans. That I was better. But Alex changed all that for me.”

Max had known in an abstract sense how important Alex was to Michael, but he’d figured when he’d started dating Maria that she’d become his primary human connection. It seemed ridiculous, now he was actually thinking about it, to try and ascribe levels to the connections Michael could make to humans. To the connections any of them could make – did he care any less about Cam because he still loved Liz? Didn’t he care about Maria too? 

“Do you think you would’ve known, if it wasn’t for Alex?” he asked, putting his guilt aside to think about later.

“Yeah. Not right then, obviously, but I would’ve figured it out sooner or later.” Michael shot him a sardonic look. “He’s not the only guy I’ve been with, you know. Did you think he was?”

“I don’t know. Maybe?” Max hesitated. “I’d never seen you with any guys. Still haven’t, actually.”

“Yeah, well. Roswell, y’know.” Michael shrugged and went back to the engine. “I never flaunted it or anything, and it was always easier for me to pick up women.”

Max wasn’t sure now how many questions were too many, but Michael wasn’t giving any signals for him to stop, so he asked, “So what did you do?”

“Couple tourists, over the years. Went to Planet 7 a couple times. Albuquerque, every now and then. I wasn’t hiding it, exactly, but…y’know.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s no big deal for some people, but it’s the end of the world to others, and when I’m living and working in town, it’s not worth the risk of people taking their business elsewhere. Sanders runs his profit margins on a razor edge as it is.”

“That sucks.”

“People suck, Max.” Michael snorted. “And we live in their world, so.”

“Yeah. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

Michael grinned, standing up and leaning down to get some other tool Max didn’t even recognise. He could put up shelves, but apart from that he wasn’t a very DIY kind of guy, certainly nowhere near Michael’s level. “Lotta questions, dude,” Michael remarked, and Max looked away, through the chain-link fence to the road.

“I was just thinking about it, is all. Guess I was just wondering, y’know, if this is our species’ default sexuality, how do you even tell? Like…for me, it’s hard to see beyond Liz.”

Michael nodded slowly, ducking back into the engine. “Yeah, you’ve been in love with her basically your whole life, I guess. Tunnel vision.”

“Exactly.” Max’s skin prickled uncomfortably, but it was true. It somehow seemed more painful now Liz had made the conscious, uninfluenced decision to leave him. He’d been trying very hard not to think about it.

Michael made a thoughtful noise, squinting at his work, getting a smear of grease on his elbow as he straightened again and frowned at the car. Turning the key telekinetically, Max realised as the engine turned over and whined, sputtering and stuttering before Michael let it go again. “I guess think about it?” he suggested, glancing at Max as he leaned down to get another wrench out of his toolbox. “Like, does the idea of kissing another guy freak you out?”

“Sure, but I don’t know if that’s just me or if that’s like, the way I’ve always thought I should react.”

Michael shrugged. “Can’t really help you there, man. Watch some porn? Try your luck at Planet 7? You’ll have to get Isobel on side for that though.”

“I definitely would, she’d be a way better wingman than you.”

“Wow.” Michael held a greasy hand to his heart, laughing. “Harsh.”

“Am I wrong though?” Max raised an eyebrow, and Michael conceded, both hands up.

“Well, it’s your riskiest bet anyway. Unless you find someone who’s willing to let you experiment, I guess.”

“Mm.” 

“Yeah.” Michael understood his reluctance on that front, clearly.

“Do you think that’s the only way you can really be sure anyway?” Max asked. “Like, actually trying it out?”

“Nah.” Michael went back to his engine. “Otherwise no one would know what sexuality they are till they fucked around and found out. But kids get crushes, so it’s obviously not experience-related.”

“Right, yeah.” Obviously. He could’ve kicked himself for asking such a dumb question, but at least Michael wasn’t taking the piss. 

“Still, getting some first-hand experience is a good idea, if you really are curious. More data is never a bad thing.” Michael winked, and Max groaned and pretended to kick dirt at him. “I’m just saying! Why deprive Isobel of the opportunity to wingman you at Planet 7? You could literally give this to her as a gift, she’d be so grateful.”

“I hate how right you are.”

Michael laughed, and Max went to go and find a chair so he could at least sit down while they talked about slightly less fraught things.

So, data. Max had less than zero desire to go to Planet 7 and actually try kissing a man for real, but imagining it was safe enough. In theory, anyway. In practice, his imagination obviously reached for memory to support the fantasy, so Max started out trying to imagine kissing a random patron at the Pony, or the man on the car insurance billboard he always passed on his way into town, and ended up imagining Kyle.

He had ample memories of kissing Kyle, after all. The issue was that those memories were so loaded with embarrassment and shame that Max didn’t feel like he was getting an objective view of the idea.

So he tried Michael’s next idea: porn.

He’d never really watched that much porn. He had a few favourite videos, obviously, but he’d never really liked the presence of men in them at all. The videos he had saved, the ones he went back to over and over, were mostly masturbation videos, with a lot of focus on the women’s faces and the sounds they made. The sounds alone got Max off when he was a kid, guiltily watching porn for the first time.

Gay porn was full of disturbingly ripped men, at least on the front pages of Pornhub’s gay categories. Disturbingly bulky men with huge muscles and six-packs and absolutely gigantic cocks, with little to no body hair. Max was so stunned when he first looked that it took a moment for his embarrassment to hit, and a moment after that for the inadequacy to creep in.

He knew, objectively, that porn wasn’t real in the same way any entertainment media wasn’t real. That didn’t mean he didn’t shrink a little from seeing it.

He got a drink and went back to it, determined to at least see if he could find anything that turned him on. He could be objective. He could be a bit of a scientist about it.

The idea of telling Liz that he was trying to apply her scientific principles to trying out gay porn was both very funny and kind of heartbreaking. He was still bad at putting her out of his mind, even after so many years of practice, but there was nothing more distracting than gay porn. There was nothing there to remind him of Liz.

Not all the men looked like they’d just stepped out of a body building competition, he saw as he started scrolling. There were a few skinny guys, though they seemed to have pretty huge dicks as well. The categories were pretty similar to the ones he was used to, though he did a bit of a double-take when he saw an entire category for straight men. There was _amateur_ and _verified amateur_ whatever the hell that meant, and a lot in the _solo male_ category.

He figured if he liked that in women, he might like it in men too, if he even did like men, so clicked on that.

Of course, the top video then showed a guy with his balls in some sort of clamp, so maybe not. Max winced and scrolled down until he found one that looked relatively simple – just a guy on his own in a shower cubicle, hand around his dick. Max opened it in a separate tab and set it playing, volume turned up. 

The sound of the water was a soothing backdrop, and Max watched as the guy – tall, dark-skinned, muscly but not overly so – walked into the frame with his dick already hard between his legs. He didn’t feel anything at that other than the knowledge that if he’d seen that in a changing room or something, he would have looked away immediately. He didn’t have to now, of course, but it was still strange to stare and look on purpose.

He hadn’t really looked at Kyle when they’d been in the lab. He’d been so focused on touching him and being touched in return, even more so than the sounds Kyle had been making. He didn’t remember what Kyle’s dick had looked like, really.

The shower in the video didn’t have a door, so there was nothing to conceal the view. The man jerked himself slowly, and with the hand not wrapped around his cock he touched himself everywhere else too, something Max had never considered doing. Was that weird? He lifted a hand almost absently to his neck to drag his fingers lightly down the skin there, and shivered. Maybe there was something in the idea.

He wasn’t turned on. But it was a pretty simple video, so maybe that wasn’t strange. 

No – it would have been strange if he _was_ turned on. Max shook himself, a little freaked out by how he’d apparently forgotten that the whole point of this experiment was to reassure himself that he was straight. Or confirm it, at least. Or something. 

Either way, definitely not to actually end up getting off to gay porn.

The guy on screen moaned, leaning against the shower wall and opening his mouth, tipping his head back. He was barely under the spray of the shower, but Max could imagine how he felt. He’d jerked off in the shower often enough to know first-hand.

On screen, the man dragged his free hand down his chest and up again, up to his neck and jaw. He slid two fingers into his open mouth and moaned again, hips stuttering forward on a sudden jerk.

Cam had sucked Max’s fingers a few times, so he knew that could feel good. His dick was starting to take an interest now, probably because of the sounds. Which was weird, right? Max had never been turned on by the sound of guys moaning before.

Although, a voice in his head that sounded like Liz pointed out, he’d never sought those out before. Not like he was doing now, not like he’d done for women in the past.

The guy in the shower worked his dick faster, moaning low, his free hand sliding behind to squeeze his own ass. He turned, showing the camera and pressing his forehead against the tiles, his fingers dipping into his crack and stroking. Not pushing in, just stroking, pressing. He turned his head so the camera could see half his face again and groaned, arching his back.

Max swallowed and reached down to adjust himself through his sweatpants.

The man kept going, that free hand never still. He dragged it out for almost ten minutes before he came, back against the shower wall and mouth open, hair plastered to his head and neck. The silence after the video ended was very loud, the sudden lack of the shower’s white noise something of a shock. 

Max exhaled slowly, not touching himself, and looked at the category list again. He was half hard, but it was ignorable, for now. Out of pure curiosity, he clicked on the _straight guys_ category, and this time he was at least prepared for the page of aggressive stills when they came up. He still wasn’t quite ready to watch a video of some poor guy getting nailed by one of those huge-dicked bodybuilders, but a little scrolling turned up a video of two guys (best friends, according to the title) sitting next to each other on a couch, jerking each other off.

Max’s best friend in high school had been Michael, and he hadn’t really had a best friend since, so the whole concept of watching TV with another guy and jerking him off was somewhat alarming to him, but he clicked on it anyway.

The video didn’t show the men’s heads, and it started off with them fully clothed, the sounds of a TV slightly muffled in the background. Max watched, his mouth dry, as one of them leaned over the other to get something, and as he drew back left one hand casually resting on his friend’s thigh. Neither of them mentioned it. And then that hand slid back to palm at the friend’s crotch, slow and firm, and Max swallowed.

It escalated, obviously, until both men were shirtless, pants shoved down out of view, jerking each other off and barely making a show of suppressing their moans and gasps. Max was fully hard, but held onto the sides of his chair with an iron grip, unable to let go. A familiar ripple of energy went through his whole body when the first man started to come, and the light over in the corner flickered, his laptop running for a second on its battery.

He still waited until the video had ended before shoving his hand down his pants and drawing his dick out, jerking himself off with breathless speed. His imagination defaulted to memories of Liz these days when he got himself off, but this time he kept thinking of Kyle too. Flashes of Liz’s face mixed in with memories of Kyle’s dick between his thighs, Liz’s fingernails dragging down his back and Kyle’s mouth hot on his neck.

Max came in record time, the electricity flickering again as he did.

He’d always been so careful not to let that happen before he and Liz had gotten together, before they’d started having sex regularly. He’d always held himself back just enough to keep control over his powers, but with Liz he hadn’t had to, and they’d both revelled in getting him to release that hold over himself. To let go enough to get completely lost in his own body.

The thought popped unbidden into his head that he wouldn’t have to be careful with Kyle either, though Kyle would probably also want to be sure it wasn’t straining Max’s heart. It had scared the hell out of Liz the first time he’d done it post-resurrection.

He got up to clean up, and hesitated before sitting back down, this time with a bottle of lube. He was carefully not freaking out yet. He needed more data. He could be objective about this.

He got off once more, slower this time, to a couple more videos of relatively tame sex acts – he still wasn’t ready to watch anything bigger than a couple of fingers going up anyone’s ass. Blowjobs were good though, even if it made him think of Kyle again and experience that now-familiar burn of shame.

At least this experimentation meant he wasn’t ashamed because Kyle was a man, but because Kyle was _Kyle_ , a friend Max had never intended to do anything like that with. He could imagine one of these men in the videos giving him a blowjob and not experience the same embarrassment.

Though when he wondered guiltily whether he would be feeling quite so twisted up over this if Kyle was a woman, he had to admit that it did make a difference.

He’d done some reading when Isobel had made it clear that her one night stand with the bartender at Planet 7 hadn’t been a one-off. Partially fuelled by his lingering guilt over being kind of an ass to Michael when he’d come out, but also because he did want to be supportive. Be a good ally. Know the words, know at least a bit more than the basics. 

Maria had mentioned soon after he’d started working at the Pony how frustrating it could be to always be the one to explain and soothe people’s feelings on race. Max had never really thought of things that way before, but he was trying to be better, and he figured the same sort of thinking applied to Isobel and Michael. He didn’t want to rely on them to answer all his questions. He didn’t want to be their ignorant, straight brother.

So yes, he’d done some reading, he knew the concept of fluid sexuality, he knew that people could come out later in life. Not everyone had always known about themselves the way Michael had. Plenty of people didn’t realise or didn’t become queer (he still hesitated over the word, even mentally, still not sure whether he should be using it) till they were older. Very old, in some cases.

So the possibility that he wasn’t straight existed. It just didn’t seem very likely, given that he’d never even thought about it before now. And surely it should have done, especially when Michael had told him he was bisexual, or when Isobel insisted on giving him way too many details about her escapades with other women. Surely if anything was going to make him do some self-evaluation of his own sexuality, that was it.

Googling ‘how to tell if I’m bisexual’ had to be pretty quickly corrected to ‘how to tell if I’m a bisexual man’, because almost all the results on the first page were for women. And then a couple of the results after that were pretty unpleasant reading that he had to click out of. A whole article dedicated to comforting women who’d discovered their male partners were bisexual, telling them that it was perfectly natural to feel deceived and upset. A weird article that focused unnecessarily strongly (Max thought) on men having relationships with other men only in contexts where women were unavailable.

There were better articles too, ones that reassured the reader that he wasn’t broken or doomed to loneliness and stuff like that. It still all gave him the uncomfortable feeling that none of it was really for him, but he read on, and then watched a bit more porn, and then tried to remember if he’d ever been interested in men in any way but platonically before.

It was impossible. He went to bed even more confused than before, what Kyle had said about what the body and mind wanted not necessarily being the same ringing in his head. If it had just been one freaky event brought on by chemicals in the air in Liz’s lab, why was he freaking out so much? Was the fact that he was freaking out at all a sign of his underlying not-straightness? Had he only assumed he was straight for so long because it was easier?

He refused to let himself get up and get a drink, guiltily aware that he’d maybe been doing that too much, and so took too long to drop off.

He dreamed of Liz, which wasn’t unusual. But then he dreamed they went out to get lunch at the Crashdown and had to help Kyle out of a pod so he could check them both over to make sure they were healthy.

Max woke up disquieted, pretty sure he’d never dreamed of Kyle before. He supposed he should probably be grateful he hadn’t had a sex dream, which would’ve been just his luck.


	3. Kyle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle finally gets Max over to do some of that talking he's so fond of. This is the chapter where that 'discussions of parent death' tag comes into play.

**From: Max Evans [11:02]**  
Hey, are you free at all this week for coffee or something?

 **To: Max Evans [18:13]**  
Sorry, I was working. I’m free Sunday?

 **From: Max Evans [18:16]**  
Could I come over?

 **To: Max Evans [18:16]**  
Sure, you know where I live. 10am?

 **From: Max Evans [18:17]**  
I’ll see you then.

Kyle woke up before his alarm on Sunday morning, much to his irritation. He figured it was probably down to nerves, and got up anyway. Brushed his teeth, grabbed a bottle of water and a cereal bar, got out the door for an extra-long run. He usually listened to music while he ran, or occasionally a podcast, but today there just wasn’t room in his head.

Max had kept him at a distance since they’d had sex in Liz’s lab, which had happened exactly four weeks ago today. Almost a whole month of distance, and Kyle’s nerves were slightly shredded. He’d respected Max’s reluctance to engage, but he was uncomfortably aware that if Max hadn’t reached out, he would have started insisting on meeting up, or at least agreeing on who else to tell so Kyle could let off some steam about the whole thing.

He couldn’t stop thinking about it, was the thing. Truly cursed knowledge, as Kate would say. The mind and body might want different things, sure, but his were absolutely united in the conviction that having sex with Max Evans had been the best and definitely hottest thing to happen to Kyle for a long time. 

It felt incredibly wrong to jerk off and think of _Max_ , who was almost certainly straight, and who had very much not wanted to have sex with Kyle. He felt like an absolute creep for idly remembering how good it had felt when Max had scraped his teeth against his neck and stroked him off. He felt like a bad friend for fantasising about Liz’s ex, who was definitely still in love with Liz (and boy, could Kyle relate on that front, and didn’t that just add a whole extra level of weird to everything?).

One afternoon of probably-alien-substance-induced sex with Max Evans, and Kyle couldn’t get the guy out of his head for love or money. It was getting to the point where he was beginning to hate himself and resent Max for being so impossible to forget about. 

He ran for almost an hour before heading home, doing two rounds of pull-ups and crunches before stomping into the shower to clean up. He had time after that for breakfast, but only managed to eat a banana and some yoghurt, barely finishing that. He was almost queasy, the low-level discomfort that came before he sat an exam. And the real kicker was that he wasn’t even going to come out of this conversation with a grade showing how well he’d done and where he could improve.

He didn’t know Max well enough to know whether he was the sort of guy who’d be disturbed or amused by the idea of grading Kyle’s performance.

Kyle groaned and rested his head against the nice cool countertop of his kitchen bar. He couldn’t believe he’d even just _thought_ that.

Naturally it was at this point that someone – obviously Max – knocked on the door. Kyle jumped up and gave himself a last freaked-out once-over in the hallway mirror before getting the door. It was perfectly normal to be wearing sweatpants in his own home.

Max was in jeans and a plain, dark button-down, looking about as nervous as Kyle felt, his hand lifted in an awkward greeting. “Hey.”

“Hey, come in.” Kyle smiled (also awkward as hell) and stood back to let Max in, weirdly conscious of his bare feet on the laminate compared to Max’s boots. He wondered what Max thought of his place as he led him down the hallway to the open-plan kitchen and living area, the kitchen bar separating the two. Compared to Max’s personality-filled house with its big bookshelves and colourful throws and cushions, Kyle’s apartment seemed very small, and very plain. 

“So, uh.” Max turned as Kyle went automatically into the kitchen, putting a little extra distance between them. “Um.”

“You want a coffee or something?” Kyle asked quickly, and Max nodded.

“Oh yeah, thanks.”

He sat gingerly at the little kitchen bar and watched Kyle turn the coffee machine on and get a couple of cups out. Under his scrutiny, Kyle had to put effort into acting normal, conscious again of his movements while Max sat still. 

Kyle remembered the way Max had guided him down onto the floor of the lab and laid down on top of him. The way he’d cradled the back of Kyle’s head to stop it hitting the wall, and the floor, and just holding on while Kyle sucked him off.

He couldn’t believe he was thinking about this while Max was _right there_ , but apparently mental discipline wasn’t something he had anymore. He got the milk out and lifted it up, giving Max a questioning look. Max swallowed and shook his head. “I’m good, thanks.”

“Sugar?”

“Nah.”

“Very cop of you,” Kyle said, trying to sound dry.

“Thanks. I think.” Max grimaced. “I guess there’re some things I’ll keep from the job forever.”

“Probably. My mom can’t walk into a building without sizing it up and guessing the income of the owner.”

“Yeah, she does that.” Max took a breath and managed an actual smile, which made Kyle unclench a little. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. “She can always tell where someone’s gotten their hair cut too.”

“Not hard, there’s only two places to get your hair cut in this town.” Kyle poured coffee for each of them, adding milk and a spoon of sugar to his. He stayed on his side of the counter to drink, leaning against the fridge. He burned his tongue a little on the first sip, but he felt better immediately. “So, how’re you doing?”

“Fine,” Max said, almost certainly lying. “You?”

“Oh, fine.” Kyle lifted his cup in a wry toast. “Definitely not still freaking out about it.” He regretted his sarcasm instantly when Max looked down at his coffee, shoulders hunched.

“Yeah. Uh. Same, really. But…figured I’d brushed you off enough already.”

Kyle shrugged a shoulder, looking down at his mug too. “No, I get it. I’m glad you did though. I, uh. Actually am still freaking out about it, in case that wasn’t obvious, so it’s not just you.”

Max let out a little puff of air. “That’s good. I mean, not good, but, you know.”

“Yeah.” Kyle nodded, glancing at him. At least they were in this together, in some senses. Even if their reactions were different, it had happened to both of them. 

Kyle wasn’t sure what to think of the idea of Max remembering what they’d done at inappropriate times. It seemed unlikely, but what did he know? He cleared his throat. “I know. I guess I’m still hung up on the consent thing.”

Max frowned. “Why?”

“Because we…didn’t?” Kyle raised an eyebrow, taken aback. “Like, I get that we were. I mean, y’know, we were definitely into it in the moment, but that’s like…we were basically drugged, so. That’s not great.”

“Okay, but for it to – look, you’re freaking out about what happened being assault, right?”

Kyle shifted uncomfortably. “Basically, yeah.”

“Well that’s dumb.” Max took a gulp of coffee while Kyle tried not to scowl. Screw him for being concerned, apparently. “Look,” Max lowered his cup. “If you wanna get technical, assault needs to have an aggressor and a victim. If anything, both of us were victims in that…whatever that was.” He paused, visibly uncomfortable. “Whatever happened. Neither of us drugged the other. It was messed up, but it wasn’t _that_. I don’t even get why you’d be freaking out about that.”

Kyle sighed. It made sense that Max would think of it from a legal point of view, and it was kind of reassuring to know that at least he thought of it that way, and he didn’t seem to be mad at Kyle for what had happened. Logically, he knew he hadn’t done anything wrong (or definitely hadn’t wanted or meant to, at least), but the whole situation was sending him way past logic at this point.

“I guess I just fixated on it,” he said. “Like, it sounds dumb, but because you’ve never, y’know. Slept with a guy before, it just seemed like a bigger deal.” He rubbed the back of his neck, pushing past his own discomfort. “I know it’s probably stupid. But the whole newness of it. I mean, that just…I know it probably wouldn’t be any less weird or awkward if one of us was a woman, but it might’ve been for you, I don’t know.”

“It is weirder,” Max admitted, and took a big gulp of coffee afterwards, studiously avoiding Kyle’s gaze.

“Right!” Kyle said, both relieved and surprised that Max was on the same page as him there. “Like, I kept thinking about how if that had happened, like…ten years ago or whatever, and I would’ve absolutely lost it. You’re being really chill about it all.”

“I’m really good at faking it up to the point where I make lightbulbs explode,” Max joked, and he and Kyle grinned nervously at each other.

“So you aren’t actually completely chill about it?” Kyle said, still smiling a little.

“No. Not…no.” Max tried to laugh and didn’t really manage it. “I mean, I’m fine, but it was definitely. Not something I ever exactly thought I’d do. Ever.” He paused, worrying at his lower lip with his teeth in a way that had Kyle looking elsewhere in a hurry. “You would’ve freaked out ten years ago?”

“Oh my God, yeah.” Kyle almost laughed. “I mean, I know some people say you’re gay from birth or whatever, born that way, all that, but I don’t think I was bi before college, no way.”

“I ended up asking Michael about it,” Max admitted, and Kyle nodded approvingly. He’d hoped Max hadn’t just been sitting on this for four weeks, and if he couldn’t bring himself to talk to Kyle, at least he’d talked to someone.

“Makes sense,” he said. “I mean, he’s your brother.”

“Yeah. And I actually knew he was bisexual, so.” Max winced a little. “Sorry about that, by the way. I, uh. Totally assumed.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s the only genuinely funny part of that whole experience.” Kyle grinned. “You gotta let me have that.”

“If you want it, man.” Max raised his hands, and for a second it was almost normal. The feeling faded as they both finished their coffees, avoiding each other’s eyes.

“Some people just figure it out earlier, I guess,” Kyle said suddenly, sort of wanting to explain. “Michael, I mean. And Alex.”

“Yeah.” Max hesitated. “You think you weren’t at all in high school? Uh, bisexual, I mean.”

“Nah.” Kyle smiled humourlessly. “No way. I mean, you know what I was like in high school. I only thought about being gay as far as I could twist it into a joke. It never applied to me – it literally didn’t even cross my mind.”

Max tilted his head, hands wrapping around his still-warm mug. “You mind if I ask what changed?”

Kyle shook his head, and shrugged as he thought about how to say it. He decided as he started speaking that he wasn’t going to talk around it or censor himself – Max had asked, and he’d resolved right after they’d had sex that he should be honest about anything relevant. “It’s kind of a funny story anyway. I was at a party, last year of my undergrad, and we were all drunk, but not _drunk_ , you know. And we got talking about girls making out for attention at clubs, and a few of the girls there said they’d like to see guys doing that for once, and uh, long story short, I ended up making out with almost every guy at that party.” He grinned, a little sheepish, but he didn’t have to worry – Max smiled back, apparently seeing the funny side.

“And that was it?” he asked. “Switch flipped?”

“Pretty much.” Kyle rolled his eyes at himself. “I mean, no, it was more complicated than that, but not actually by that much. Like, I freaked out, but I was as horny as your regular twenty-one-year-old, so I still went looking for more. And I was super good at ignoring my own hypocrisies back then, so it didn’t bother me for a pretty long time.” Max didn’t have anything to say to that, and Kyle bit back a smirk. “Please try to restrain your shock.”

“No, I wasn’t –” Max cut himself off. “I was just…I can’t imagine being able to. I don’t know, I guess ignore? Something like this?”

“Okay, but you have to remember that I’d spent most of my life up to that point coasting on a wave of laziness and confidence,” Kyle said wryly. “I’m pretty sure I read something about straight guys having sex with other men and still being straight and being totally convinced that was me.”

“Wait.” Max frowned. “So it wasn’t like a flipped switch. Like, an instant thing.”

“I…guess not.” Kyle gave him a rueful smile. “Yeah. It’s all kinda smoothed out in my head now, but I guess at the time, yeah. It was a bit more confusing. It was…” He hesitated, sobering. “I mean, a lot of things changed for me when my dad died, and that was…”

“He wouldn’t’ve cared,” Max said. He stated it like a fact, which Kyle loved, even as it made his heart ache. 

“I know.” He tried to smile, but couldn’t quite manage it. “That was kinda the thing. I know how lucky I am, y’know? Definitely how lucky I was. How many people can figure out they’re queer and still know a hundred percent that their parents will love and respect them no matter what? My mom had more of a problem with it than my dad ever would’ve.”

“Wait, seriously?” Max sound positively scandalised, and Kyle had to laugh.

“Not in a bad way. She’s got a secret conservative streak, y’know? She really wants genetic grandkids. I don’t think my dad would’ve cared about that. But that’s the thing – I never told him.” Kyle shook his head. “I knew he would’ve been fine with it, but I just put it off, and then it was too late. I thought about trying when I saw him before he died, but it.” He paused and swallowed. “He was so out of it,” he said quietly. “His brain was just…deteriorating before our eyes. He wasn’t retaining any information; he had no idea what was going on, didn’t even know who I was sometimes. It was awful.”

Max said, “I’m so sorry,” in a low voice. He was good at it. Some people hammed up the sympathy, which made it even worse. Some people tried to brush past it, or seemed to think that it was an excuse to tell Kyle what a good father Jim had been, as if they had any clue. Max had the advantage of having actually known Jim, but even without that, his tone was just right. Sombre, but not melodramatic. He sounded like he actually meant to convey a real shared grief, and for a second, Kyle could only nod in acknowledgement.

“There wouldn’t’ve been any point telling him then,” he said after a moment. “It just eats at me, that I never got to tell him.” Twenty-three was far too young to lose a parent, that was what his grandmother had told him when he’d come home to be with his dad as he died. She’d come to help out, to support her daughter and grandson, and she’d basically kept them upright as their world collapsed. Kyle hadn’t felt young at the time, but looking back on it, she’d been right.

“I’m sorry,” Max said again. “For the part my…my species played in it.”

“Don’t be.” Kyle snapped, and had to force himself not to lash out further when Max looked up in surprise. “Seriously. Look, I idolised my dad, but we both know he wasn’t a saint. It makes as much sense for me to apologise to you for the role he played in keeping members of your species locked up.”

“He was just one guy,” Max said, still sounding a little taken aback. “And Jesse Manes –”

“Would’ve found a way to kill him either way, I know.” Kyle shook his head. “That doesn’t change the fact that he colluded in the running of a concentration camp.”

“Was it…” Max slowed down, biting his lip again. “I never wanted to ask Michael about it. He was, after he got back from there, he was so messed up.”

“I sure would’ve been. I still am, and I didn’t even…shit, I mean, he literally just found his mom and lost her, in the space of about twenty minutes, maybe less.” Kyle shook his head. Twenty-eight was too young to lose a parent too. Maybe any age was too young, though at least if you were elderly yourself it wasn’t such a shock. “I can’t even imagine it.”

Max took a deep breath, hesitating before he asked, “Were there others?”

Kyle nodded. It was good to talk about this too, with someone who actually wanted to. Alex turned to a steel-eyed statue when Kyle brought it up with him. “Yeah. Maybe a dozen at most. Michael’s mom, she seemed the most lucid. The others were just.” He looked down. “They weren’t all there, I don’t think. Like, they were either sleeping or just pacing their cells. They didn’t even look at us. They didn’t try to talk or…they were all so old. Like, tiny old people, dressed in rags. Can you imagine being in prison for that long? And knowing you’d never get out, and being experimented on. They saw multiple generations of mine and Alex’s family members cycle through that place, always keeping them there. And then we got them all killed.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” God, no one could do sincere and earnest like Max Evans. Maybe that was why so many people fell in love with him.

“If we hadn’t’ve gone, it wouldn’t have happened.” Kyle shook his head. “That’s just how it is. I know Alex feels guilty about it too. A place like that, it never should’ve existed. And that’s why…I can’t get over my first reaction when I realised my dad really had been involved. He deserved the death he got.” He gave Max an agonised look. “He deserved to die in pain, confused and basically alone in his own head.”

“No,” Max protested. “No, come on, he wasn’t perfect, sure, but no one deserves to die like that.”

“Maybe.” Kyle pushed himself up to sit on the counter, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Maybe not. I know you’re not meant to judge a situation you don’t have all the information for, but I don’t really think I need to know much more beyond the fact that my dad knew a concentration camp was in operation and didn’t do anything to stop it. Didn’t even try. Didn’t even push back against Jesse until he was in his forties or fifties, which means he went along with this for literal decades. When he was the age we are right now, he knew Caulfield existed. How the hell am I supposed to reconcile the man who told me to always do the right thing with the man who knew that?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Kyle saw Max tip his cup from side to side on the counter, frowning down at it. “I don’t know,” he said eventually. 

“You knew him,” Kyle said, looking over properly without straightening up. “You were friends, right?”

“Yeah. He was basically my mentor.” The sting of that was old now, and Kyle almost smiled to feel it again. He’d long stopped being mad at his dad for seeming to care more about other people’s kids than his own sometimes.

“When you found out he’d been complicit in keeping your people locked up and tortured…” Kyle trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. Max understood anyway.

“I blame Jesse Manes,” he said quietly. “Not Jim.”

“Isn’t everyone responsible for their own actions?”

“To a point. But Jim was…for a cop, he was really soft.” Kyle blinked to hear that. He’d never heard that from his mom, and he’d never known any of his dad’s other co-workers well enough for them to tell him anything like that. “Like, that’s why he lost his re-election race,” Max went on. “Bobby Rainer had a tougher stance on basically everything, he didn’t go in for mercy and kindness the way Jim did. And I didn’t know Jesse Manes well, but everyone says he was a master manipulator, and it was Jim’s way to believe in his friends. And from his perspective…” Max sighed. “There _was_ an alien murderer in Roswell. Noah _was_ killing people, semi-regularly, and he was getting away with it. He knew right from the beginning that an alien had killed Rosa. And Jim was on his own, he didn’t have people like you to talk to.”

“People like me?”

“Yeah. I mean, for us, for me and Isobel and Michael, we’ve always had each other to turn to. And when Liz told you, I was ready to skip town.” His lips twitched, eyes narrow. “I was ready to get Iz and Michael and run for it. But you didn’t tell anyone. And now Cam knows, and Alex and Maria know, and it’s only been good for us. Like, there’s a breaking point, sure, but you’ve helped us. Jim never had that network – he only had Jesse Manes, and Jesse only ever fed him poison. It’s not a bad thing that his first instinct was to trust his friend.”

“It was kinda bad,” Kyle muttered, but Max had made good points, all of them things he’d turned over in his own head a hundred times over. “It just sucks, y’know? Things like him cheating on my mom, having a drinking problem, having a whole other kid, I can get that. That’s normal bad decision and situation stuff that complicates a lot of people’s lives. Being involved with Caulfield? That’s just on a whole other level.”

“This stuff kinda is.” Max ran his thumb along the rim of his cup. “It didn’t used to feel real, sometimes. Like it was a bad dream I’d wake up from, and I’d be a normal person with normal problems.”

“Do you ever wish you were?” Kyle asked, genuinely curious.

“I used to.” Max frowned. “Almost my whole life. I just wanted all the alien stuff to go away. I hated it. Even my powers suck.”

“ _Healing_ people sucks?” 

“It does when you can’t ever do it.” Max looked up at him. “It does suck. It still sucks, knowing that if I’m a witness to a heart attack or a shooting, if I heal the victim, I expose us.”

That was true. Kyle had forgotten that for a second in his outrage at the idea of having actual healing hands being anything but an incredible gift. “Yeah.”

“Plus, it drains me. Healing Liz messed me up for days afterwards. Bringing Rosa back literally killed me.” Max looked down again. “I don’t know if it’s an ability I’m supposed to be able to use without it hurting me. My name…the device we exploded at Crash Con, I heard things when I touched it, and afterwards, I recognised my name in our language. I don’t know how to say it, but I know what it means, and how it’s written.”

“Wait seriously?” Kyle leaned towards him. “Liz told me you were trying to get more memories back after you woke up, but I didn’t know you were actually remembering stuff! That’s amazing!”

“It’s…amazing’s one word.” Max smiled, a little nervous. “Scary’s another. It’s kinda weird, going from not wanting to even think about how I’m an alien to wanting to know more about it. We’ve found out so much recently, about Michael’s mom, and Isobel’s mom, and we still don’t know anything about who my parents were, and the stuff I do remember isn’t exactly nice.”

“What d’you mean?”

Max licked his lips. “I used to think it was a nightmare,” he said slowly, after a moment’s pause. “I, uh.” Kyle waited, while he thought. It occurred to him that Max probably wasn’t used to talking about stuff like this to anyone but his family and Liz. And he might be having second thoughts about sharing pieces of his alien heritage with humans after what had happened with Liz. But Max seemed to resolve himself, sitting up straighter. “I used to have these nightmares, when I was a kid,” he said. “Of being in a dark place, chained to the ground. And now, I don’t think they were dreams.”

“You think they’re memories,” Kyle guessed, and Max nodded.

“It’s the only thing I remember, and Michael and Isobel don’t remember anything at all. But we know they had mothers, at least. And they were loved.”

Kyle’s breath caught in his chest. “Max –”

“They protected me too,” Max added quickly. “I know. I just wish I actually knew more. And it’s weird to want to know more, y’know? I spent so long wishing it would all just go away and I could be normal. Just a normal guy from Roswell,” he said, quieter.

Kyle decided to shoot for light, to try and bring Max’s mood up a bit. “Can’t relate,” he said airily. “I’ve always wanted to stand out.”

To his relief, Max snorted. “Yeah. You told me you wanted to be a hero once.”

“Once.” Kyle looked down at his knees. “Yeah. And still kinda…I don’t wanna be a hero anymore, exactly, but being…I don’t know.” Appreciated, he wanted to say, but held his tongue. He didn’t want to make Max think he wanted thanks for the things he’d done, when they’d just been the right thing to do. He’d taught himself to be satisfied with his own sense of a job well done anyway – he didn’t need to be thanked or thought a lot of. “Noticed, maybe,” he said instead. “That used to be a lot of it. Only child syndrome, maybe.”

Max smiled slightly. “I can’t imagine that.”

“People with siblings never can.” Kyle rolled his eyes. “It’s not that hard.”

“Imagining it, or being an only child?”

“Both.” Kyle almost made a face at him, but didn’t think they were casual enough terms for that quite yet. “Mind you, I can’t imagine having a psychic twin, so there’s always limits.”

That got a laugh out of Max, and Kyle grinned reflexively. “It’s nice,” he said, and laughed again at Kyle’s exaggerated sceptical expression. “It is! It’s good to know Isobel’s always there.”

“It’s never weird?”

“It’s not like she’s actually in my head.” Max put his head to one side, thinking about it. “I guess it’s like…if my brain’s a house, she’s just outside. She can come in if I open the door for her, and she could look through the windows, and I’d see her doing it. And if I shout, she’ll hear. But she’s not really _in_ my head, like, looking out through my eyes or anything. And it goes both ways.”

It was a good analogy, as far as Kyle could tell. “And you can keep secrets from each other.”

“Yeah. And lie, and all that. I mean, I couldn’t if she actually went in my mindscape or whatever, but she’d never do that without asking me.”

Kyle had to raise an eyebrow at that. “Wouldn’t she?”

“Never.” Max sounded completely sure, at least. “She’d never do that. She wouldn’t to Michael either.”

“Just to a human,” Kyle said wryly, and Michael winced. 

“In the past, maybe. But honestly, the most she ever abused her powers was when we were kids, and you’re the last person to get on a high horse about how awful high schoolers can be.”

“Wow.” Kyle was so stunned he burst out laughing, and Max’s wide eyes made it even funnier. “ _Wow_ , okay.”

“I didn’t mean –”

“Dude, you totally did.” Kyle kept laughing. “Relax, do I look mad? It’s not like you’re wrong.”

“I shouldn’t’ve said it.”

“You have definitely said worse.” Kyle snorted. “I mean, I know now you were in your post-healing slump, but seriously, relax. Anyone who can’t laugh at themselves thinks too much of themselves.”

Max blinked, and then smiled a little. “Jim used to say that.”

“I know. He used to tell me that every time he took the piss out of me.”

Max laughed. “Did he do that a lot?”

“Nah, only when he thought I was taking something too seriously.” Kyle smiled. It faded after a second as the usual chaser of pain followed the memory. It had been just about alright when he’d found out about his dad’s involvement in Project Shepherd, but now it felt like all his memories were a bit tarnished. His dad had poked fun at him back when he’d been in high school, and he’d been aware of Caulfield at the time. It just took the shine off what should have been uncomplicated memories. “Aren’t you mad at him at all?” he asked Max. “For what he did?”

Max pressed his empty cup between his palms, rolling it a little between them. “No,” he admitted after a long moment. “I know I should, or I feel like I should, but…I don’t know. I don’t really know why I don’t, but I don’t.”

Kyle envied that simplicity, and perhaps Max could tell, because he avoided Kyle’s gaze. “I should get going,” he said, and Kyle straightened.

“You don’t have to.”

“No, but.” Max paused, biting his lip again. “I’ll actually…I won’t stay away anymore. I didn’t mean to before, exactly, but I needed the space. Uh, thank you, for that.”

“It’s okay. I kinda figured. And you said so, pretty much.”

“Yeah. Are, uh. Are you okay?”

Kyle bit back a smile. “Yeah. I mean, I was freaking out a bit, but this helped. Actually talking to you.”

Max nodded, eyes avoiding his in a way Kyle recognised from a lot of male patients. Embarrassed to realise he’d been talking about his feelings, probably, and now keen to put on a bit of a cowboy front to cover it. “I’ll, uh. We could do it again. If you want.”

The smile came through before Kyle could help himself. “Yeah, that sounds good.” Maybe not so much of a cowboy after all. 

They exchanged a little more small talk as Max left, telling each other what their plans were for the day, both sighing over their respectively busy work schedules for the week. Kyle almost wanted to go for another run after Max had gone, jittery with excess energy he didn’t know what to do with.

He had a list of things to do though. This was his only free day this week, so he started out by putting a load of laundry on and then planning the week’s meals before going out to shop for what he needed. It calmed him down, taking his mind out of the bizarre realm of implausible conversations with his alien friend who he’d had sex with without meaning to. Meal plans and laundry and checking his schedule for the week ahead didn’t have any place in the world where real aliens lived in Roswell.

Kyle shot off a message to Alex while he cooked and prepped that evening, checking in and starting the process of pushing Alex into meeting up at the Pony. It was getting easier – Kyle could leave it to the day before now, almost. When he’d first figured that Alex wouldn’t actually punch him for trying to be friends again, it would take almost a week of gentle leading before Alex would agree to see him in person.

Kyle wondered whether Forrest Long had the same issues with being left on read where Alex was concerned, and had to remind himself (for the hundredth time) that it wasn’t any of his business. Not that that did anything to quell his gossip-craving heart, but it did stop him asking Alex about it directly.

Besides, for gossip, he had plenty to occupy him – he was involved in half a dozen group chats with friends from the hospital, and he’d learned over the last year that he could get away with chunks of his free time being taken up with alien shenanigans if he kept up an active presence virtually. 

It was all good distraction from thinking about Max, and that was the important thing.


	4. Max

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More data is always good. Science is sexy.

The important thing was that Max could at least think of Kyle without wanting to die again out of sheer embarrassment. Weirdly, it had helped to hear that Kyle’s first experience with men was at a drunken house party that he’d been embarrassed to talk about. It had helped even more that Kyle might be completely chill about it all now, but he hadn’t been then.

It wasn’t entirely lost on Max that the most reassuring thing about talking to Kyle had been hearing about the bisexual stuff, but he wasn’t sure what that meant, or if it even was supposed to mean anything. He figured it was probably just nice to know that Kyle had been freaked out about it at some point.

He managed to lie and skirt around the issue for almost a day before he lost his patience with himself and wound up reading more articles about bisexual men realising they were bisexual. And reading a lot of Reddit posts about the same. And watching a few YouTube videos. And then watching some gay porn. Or guy-on-guy porn, or male porn, or whatever the correct term was, because he was relatively sure that not all the men he was watching were actually gay. Statistically, it was unlikely. 

Some of them were probably bi.

Some of them were probably straight, and just doing this for the money. Though he supposed everyone in these videos was doing it for the money to a degree – it was a job like any other to them, probably.

He considered writing a Reddit post of his own, but couldn’t think of a way to explain how he and Kyle had ended up having sex that didn’t involve implausible amounts of alcohol, and that was really the crux of what he was angsting over now. 

Physically speaking, he definitely responded to the idea of messing around with men now. And he couldn’t say with any certainty that he hadn’t before, because he’d never tried – it had never even occurred to him. Emotionally speaking, he still had no idea. And he didn’t know whether those physical feelings would still be there in person. Apparently straight men could get off to gay porn, and enough did that Max wondered whether he was just one of them. He could be – he couldn’t know for sure, because again, he’d never watched any before this.

He envied the certainty some people had. Michael particularly, who was completely confident in who he was and always had been. Max knew he would say that it was other people who had the problem. He finally brought it up to Isobel, after thinking about it for several days to try and figure out a strategy for keeping the conversation focused on her. Isobel played up her self-centred side, so it was easy to forget that she was always listening, and always ready to turn a question back on the asker, with added sting.

Max waited until he knew she’d been out the night before – with Cam, which was scary in a whole other way Max wasn’t even thinking about – and by asking about that, easily turned the conversation into a joke warning her away from Cam.

“Why?” Isobel smirked, as he’d known she would, leaning across his kitchen counter to bat her eyelashes. “You don’t think we’d make a cute couple?”

“I think you’d make a dangerous couple,” Max said, grinning as he handed Isobel her smoothie. He picked up the coffee he’d made for himself and followed her over to the couch. “A very blonde one too.”

“I like blondes,” Isobel shrugged. “And Cam’s amazing. Though I guess you’d know all about that.”

“I do.” Max set his coffee down before slumping onto the couch, letting out a huge sigh that made Isobel snort and kick his ankle before she sat down.

“You’re acting like _you’re_ the one who just ran five miles.”

“I was the one on my feet till three in the morning,” Max reminded her, and groaned when she kicked him again, grinning.

“So was I, remember?”

“Cam’s straight though, isn’t she?” Max asked, frowning. Leading Isobel into a smirk and a shrug.

“People are fluid, Max. Can’t put anyone in a box.”

Playing up the brotherly exasperation, he knocked his foot against hers. “Yeah, okay, I get it. You decided on a label for your non-box yet?”

She raised an eyebrow, laughing a bit “Why?”

“Some of the flags are cute,” he said, shrugging. “I was gonna get you rainbow-themed stuff for our birthday this year, but I didn’t realise how many different kinds of flags there are for all these different things. You think Michael would want anything?”

Isobel gave it serious consideration. “Maybe. He’d say no, you know Michael, but if you got him a pin or something, I bet he’d wear it. He might make fun of you for getting it though.”

“I can live with that,” Max said dryly. “At least I know which pin I’d get him though.”

“Yeah.” She sipped her smoothie thoughtfully. “I don’t know. I’m definitely still into men; that hasn’t changed. So maybe bisexual for me too, or pansexual.”

“That’s…got pink in it somewhere, right?” Max didn’t have to fake his confusion there at least, and it made Isobel laugh at him again.

“Honestly, I don’t know. I kinda like the way – I was talking to Pam last night, did I tell you about her? Or them, maybe, I don’t know if she’s a she or not.” Isobel paused, eyes narrow. “Maybe a them? Still getting used to that idea, to be honest. I guess you’ve covered pronouns in all your reading though,” she added, amused, and laughed when Max shrugged bashfully.

“I like to be thorough, what can I say?”

“It’s sweet,” she grinned. “You’re a very supportive brother.”

“I do my best. What did Pam say?”

“Oh yeah – something about queer being the best label because it could mean basically anything. I kinda liked that, y’know? It’s the biggest box.”

“It just means not straight,” Max summarised, and Isobel nodded.

“Yeah. It covers all the stuff I might be. No flag for it though.”

Max tilted his head. “Isn’t the rainbow flag basically that? Like, rainbow pins, rainbow lanyards, all that, it doesn’t tell you any specifics about the person, just that they’re not straight. Or they’re supportive of people who aren’t.”

“Would you wear one?” Isobel teased, and Max’s brain stuttered for a second. 

“I, uh –”

Isobel snickered. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“Shut up.” Max knocked his foot against hers again, more of a kick this time. “I just…I just got it, I guess, why Michael might not want any flags.”

“Pretty sure Michael doesn’t care what people think of him.”

“Yeah, but he knows it might draw fire.” Max could imagine it all too easily, the looks and sneers and barely-muttered comments even something as small as a rainbow pin on a lapel might get. “He wouldn’t wanna put anyone else in the crosshairs for something he doesn’t even consider an issue.”

Isobel hmphed. “That does sound like something he’d do,” she admitted, and then gave him the appraising look he’d been dreading. “You’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this.”

“Yeah, because my sister just came out and I wanna be supportive.” Max smiled, and pretended to be stern. “And I wanna make sure she’s not leading my best friend astray with her newfound wicked ways.”

Isobel cackled. “Please, as if I’m the one corrupting Cam! I swear, she could drink a giant under the table, and she was still giving me shots.”

Max winced, all too familiar with Cam’s iron stomach. “Tell me about it. Did she make you do five second shots?”

“Yeah, right after we got there.” Isobel’s eyes widened. “Where the hell did she learn that?”

“She won’t say, but it’s terrifying.”

“Agreed.” Isobel inclined her glass, and Max picked up his coffee to clink the cup against it. 

He waited an appropriate couple of seconds before saying, “I’m just happy you’re happy,” laying on the genuine sincerity. It got Isobel to smile at him, sincerity of her own in the expression. “You deserve it.”

“Damn right I do.” Isobel clinked her glass against his cup again. “So do you, you know,” she added before drinking.

“Yeah.” Max was very much not ready or willing to talk about that though. “I don’t think my issues will be solved by a trip to Planet 7 with Cam though.”

“Don’t write it off,” Isobel grinned. “Plenty of men out there just dying for a sad-eyed poet to go ga-ga over.”

Max laughed. “I’ll bear it in mind. I know you’re all about jumping in headfirst these days, but I think I’ll hang back out of the glitter.”

“You don’t know what you’re missing,” Isobel sighed dramatically. “Though I’ll give you the glitter thing. They don’t call it the herpes of the art world for nothing.”

“Wow.”

“If it gets in your hair, it’s over for you, and that’s all I’m saying on the subject. And I didn’t dive in headfirst.”

It was exactly the opening he’d been hoping for, and Max raised his eyebrows. “Didn’t you?”

“Not exactly.” Isobel sipped her smoothie, eyes narrow. “Well, kinda. It was kind of an experiment, at first. Like, after Noah…I like men, don’t get me wrong, but I wanted a break from the dynamics of it. I wanted to get out again and meet people and have fun, but I didn’t want to have to deal with all the…” She waved a hand elegantly, reminding Max so strongly of their mom that he smiled.

“Gender politics?” he suggested, and she snapped her finger.

“Exactly. All the bullshit and expectations and all the…all the stuff I’d been playing along with and playing into for the last ten years. I wanted a break. And I thought I might as well try out women.” She hesitated. “Especially after Rosa.”

Max froze, not even blinking. “Rosa?”

“I still don’t know if I ever had any feelings for her when we were in high school,” Isobel said, shrugging as though it meant nothing, as though Max couldn’t tell that it was clearly still bothering her. “In my memories it feels like I did, but I know for a fact that I wasn’t there in those memories. It was just Noah. In my body.” She rolled her shoulders and cracked her neck, looking distinctly uncomfortable for a moment. “So. It wasn’t ever me, but in my head, in those memories, it feels like me. And it’s extra weird now Rosa’s alive and still basically a child, and I’m all grown up.”

“So you haven’t talked to her about it?” Max asked.

“Not really. Only a little bit, and I definitely didn’t go into details. Like, it’s creepy enough that someone she never technically met hijacked my body to stalk and murder her. The last thing she needs is the person she thought that was asking weird questions about whether there actually were any lesbian overtones there.” Isobel shook her head. “It’s way too much.”

Max’s heart was racing, already seeing similarities between his situation and Isobel’s. “Was that another reason you went to Planet 7? To see if those feelings were real?”

“Maybe?” Isobel sighed and leaned back into the couch. “Mostly I just wanted to screw around and not deal with men. It was kinda nice finding out that it can be more than just fun and novelty though. Like, women are hot. And I always knew that, obviously, but it’s cool knowing that I could actually fall in love with one. I’m just still pissed that I never had the chance to find out earlier.”

“Yeah.” Again, Max remembered Noah’s face as he’d died, shuddering and in pain and alone. The rage was like lightning in the distance, silent and destructive, and always ready to come closer. He took a deep breath and turned away from it. “You’ve got time now.”

Isobel smirked. “All the time in the world,” she agreed. “And a bunch of new friends with fashion senses that almost make Maria look normal.”

“Shall I pass that along?” Max asked sweetly, and Isobel kicked him.

“She knows what I think of her clothes, quit kissing her ass just because she’s your boss.”

Max considered talking to Michael about it again, but a second conversation was bound to make him curious if he wasn’t already. Max sure would be if their positions were reversed. And he couldn’t talk to Isobel again for the same reason. He and Kyle were messaging now, which was kind of nice, and Maria had to tell him off once at work for getting distracted when bringing drinks to Kyle’s table and sticking around to join in the conversation.

“I pay you to work, not chat to Valenti,” she said, with that glint in her eye that said she was joking up to the point where he pushed her or did it again. “Go hang out with him on your own time.”

He knew she kept herself to similar rules, and he had been in the wrong, so it didn’t sting. He grinned and agreed not to do it again, and she didn’t keep him behind the bar for the rest of the night the way she easily could have so he knew she wasn’t actually mad.

Speaking to Kyle didn’t solve his problem though, even when they video-called each other once because Kyle was cooking and wanted to keep talking but couldn’t hold his phone when his fingers were covered in bits of vegetable. Max made dubious sounds over what he was making and Kyle gave him a lecture on healthy eating. It was nice. It was fun, even.

It absolutely didn’t help Max’s increasingly confused daydreams about having sex with him again.

He knew what Liz would say. If she wasn’t his girlfriend, obviously. If she was the Liz he’d known in high school, just his friend that he was secretly in love with, she’d encourage him to gather more data. More data was always necessary, and the cleaner the data, the better.

By clean data, Max had learned while they’d actually been dating, Liz meant replicable in lab conditions. Clean of impurities and imperfections, with the exact conditions kept the same for every repetition. 

Max let Kyle bug him into going over his on his next free Sunday (the best day for both of them) to watch TV. He could have invited Kyle to his instead, but he was weirdly aware that Kyle already knew every inch of his house, and he wanted to see more of Kyle’s. What that was about, he didn’t know.

“You’re early,” Kyle accused when he showed up, and Max laughed. 

“By like, ten minutes. Are you busy?”

“No,” Kyle admitted, standing back to let him in like before, letting Max close the door behind him and walking through to the kitchen. “I’m almost done.”

“Almost done…?” Max blinked as he rounded the corner to see Kyle’s previously spotless kitchen covered in what looked like over a dozen clear containers of various sizes, most full of food. “With your apocalypse planning?” he finished, baffled. “Or is this a picnic?”

“No.” Kyle laughed, sliding what looked like carrot sticks into a small plastic box and putting a lid on it. “It’s meal prep.”

“Meal prep?”

“Yeah, I told you when I called you that time, when I was cooking.”

“You do your meals in advance,” Max remembered, still stunned by the evidence. “I didn’t realise how much space it would take up.”

“If I do it all on the same day, it’s not a problem.” Kyle started putting lids on some boxes and putting them in his fridge. “And this means I’m good for food till next month.”

“What, seriously?”

“Yeah, I’ve got about two weeks of food here, at least a week and a half. Most of it I’ll freeze, but it freezes pretty well, especially soup.”

“Wow. Is it like a diet or something?”

Kyle laughed. “Nah. Not like you mean anyway. It’s just doing everything in advance, so I don’t default to takeout every night. That gets expensive fast, and it’s bad for you.”

“I have literally seen you walk into the Pony with an entire pizza for yourself,” Max reminded him, trying not to laugh.

“Yeah, because I’d just been suspended. But if I’m not having the worst day ever, I’ll always go for what I’ve already got.”

“Even if you’re in the mood for something else?” Max asked, and Kyle shrugged.

“I’m an eat-what’s-in-front-of-me kinda guy. I might think I’m in the mood for chilli, but then I’ll heat up some pasta and suddenly that’s what I’m hungry for. You want something to drink?” he added, host instincts clearly kicking in.

“Nah, I’m okay.” Max hovered on the other side of the kitchen bar. “Can I help with anything?”

“You’re good,” Kyle told him, storing a final box in the refrigerator and turning to smile at him. “Everything else needs to cool down before I can do anything with it.” True to his word, Max could see steam coming out of a few of the containers Kyle had left out, and he nodded. “You doing okay?”

Max nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, uh. Not bad.” He swallowed. “Actually, I.”

“Yeah?” Kyle prompted when he fell silent.

They hadn’t really talked about what had happened in Liz’s lab in any of their messages back and forth. They’d skirted the subject, sticking to easier, lighter topics. Max wondered if they’d both been saving it up to talk about in person, when they could see each other’s faces and gauge each other’s reactions better. He realised that he had.

“When did you know for sure that you were bi?” he asked, heat rising in his neck. “Like, _know_ , not just guess?”

Kyle came round to sit on the other bar stool, both of them twisting to face each other. “I would’ve said that party before you came over last time,” he said thoughtfully. “Kinda made me realise how much I’d smoothed it all out in my head. I don’t think I ever had a specific moment or anything. Maybe…I don’t know. It must’ve been before I had my first boyfriend, cause I wouldn’t’ve dated a guy without being sure I wasn’t straight.”

That made sense. For Kyle, anyway. Max nodded, even though it hadn’t exactly been the answer he’d been looking for. Though he wasn’t sure what that even was, really.

“Thinking you might be?” Kyle said quietly, leaning his elbow on the counter and his cheek on his fist. Max managed maybe half a nod before stopping.

“Maybe,” he said, just as quiet. “I don’t know. I still don’t know how you’re supposed to tell. How to be sure. Did you ever think you were gay at all?”

“Nah. I always knew I liked women; it was just whether I liked men enough for it to count as an actual orientation.” Kyle shrugged one shoulder. “Do you think you’re gay?”

“No. It’s just like you said, except I don’t know if I like men at all. For real, anyway.”

“What’s real mean to you then?” Kyle raised his eyebrows. “When does it become real? For me, I think the turning point was realising I could imagine actually dating a guy, not just fooling around with them. And having actual crushes on them. Romance, I guess.”

Max had been reading about something called a split attraction model, but he didn’t want to muddy the waters too much. “Maybe. I just.” The question pushed at his throat, but his tongue fell still. He couldn’t ask; it was too vulnerable, too _embarrassing._

“You could experiment,” Kyle suggested, and Max sighed.

“Yeah, Michael said that. I don’t wanna…not with a stranger, y’know? You know how small this town is, I don’t want that spreading around. Not outta shame or anything, it’s just no one’s business. But I can’t do any experimenting without making it someone else’s business.”

“It’s already my business,” Kyle said, perfectly reasonable. He straightened and shrugged again. “You could experiment with me, if you want.”

All Max felt, for a horrible moment, was shame that he’d been too cowardly to ask outright. That he’d manipulated Kyle into doing it for him, however unintentionally. 

“I didn’t wanna make it weird,” he muttered, and smiled helplessly when Kyle laughed.

“Dude, it’s already weird. Weird doesn’t have to be bad though. You can experiment and keep your privacy, everyone wins. Making out with a hot guy is not exactly a hardship for me,” he added, probably sensing Max’s disbelief that he could be a winner in this scenario.

Another thought followed on from that, and Max’s smile became a little more real. “You think I’m hot?”

Kyle glared at him, not seriously. “You – I am not stroking your ego, Evans. You own a mirror.”

Max laughed, and Kyle snorted, breaking into a genuine grin afterwards. “You really wouldn’t mind?” Max asked.

“Try me,” Kyle invited, gesturing to himself, and Max paused, and let himself look in that space. Kyle’s legs were spread wide, both feet propped up on the little metal bar near the bottom of the stool. He was still leaning against the counter, casual as anything, and something inside Max quaked with anticipation and fear, the feelings so entwined he couldn’t separate them into anything that made sense.

He wasn’t smiling anymore, and neither was Kyle, but Kyle was just waiting. Patient and kind, and still inviting. 

Well, Max absolutely wasn’t going to be a coward again. He steeled himself and leaned forward, inclining his head and pressing his lips to Kyle’s gently, lingering a little before he drew back. He opened his eyes before Kyle did, and strangely that was the bit that made his gut clench: seeing Kyle with his eyes shut, lips slightly parted.

Kyle breathed out as he opened his eyes, smiling a little. “Okay?”

“Yeah.” Max swallowed. He’d just done that. Nothing had made him do it. He’d chosen to do it, by himself. “Could we, uh. Could we stand?”

“Sure?” Kyle slid off the stool, even though he was obviously confused.

“I was, I just thought.” Max stood up too, tongue-tied in his rush to explain. “For if this was, I mean. You’d replicate the conditions, right? For an experiment.”

Comprehension dawned across Kyle’s face, and he nodded. “Right, yeah. Uh, over here?” He walked backwards and leaned against the wall, a crooked sort of smile on his face. It wasn’t bad though – Max didn’t feel like he was being made fun of at all, which he appreciated a lot, since he knew it would have been incredibly easy to turn this into a joke at his expense.

“Yeah.” Max took a deep breath and went to stand next to Kyle, feeling like he _should_ be feeling a sense of déjà vu from them mimicking the poses they’d been in when they’d started kissing in the lab. But Kyle’s bright, clean apartment was too different to that, and Max was just horribly aware of how hard his heart was beating, and how nervous he was.

“Okay?” Kyle checked, and Max nodded. 

“Yeah.” Here went nothing. He leaned in and kissed Kyle again, and this time it wasn’t over in a flash. Kyle kissed him back, and Max’s skin seemed to light up, heat and static racing over it as he lifted a hand automatically to Kyle’s waist, and Kyle made an encouraging sound in response that had Max pulling him a little closer, opening his mouth to kiss him deeper.

Real heat swooped in the pit of his stomach, and Max swallowed back a moan, keeping his head by the smallest of degrees as Kyle’s tongue slid against his, his arms coming up to wrap around Max’s body.

Distantly, Max realised that this was a pretty conclusive point of no return. If he wasn’t bi in general, he was at the very least bi for Kyle. And wasn’t that a thought he’d never expected to have, let alone prove?

More immediately, he was more interested in wrapping one arm around Kyle’s waist and pulling him closer, conscious enough this time to notice all the differences and similarities between them. Last time his head had been basically empty beyond the desire to keep going and get _more_ , but now he had the ability to think about how strange it was to kiss someone with stubble.

Kyle was a good kisser though. Max’s stomach kept tightening, taking quick little breaths through his nose so he could keep kissing him back, slow and intense and then faster, Kyle’s teeth grazing his lower lip, his hands warm and firm at the small of his back.

He’d only said making out, Max remembered. He hadn’t given the go-ahead for anything more. And this was still just an experiment. 

Kyle lifted a hand to curl around the back of Max’s neck, sliding gentle fingers into Max’s hair, and Max deepened the kiss in response before he could even think about it. It made Kyle moan, so Max couldn’t even consider regretting it, too thrilled and turned on by knowing he’d done that.

Which was another nail in the coffin of his heterosexuality, honestly, as was the fact that he really didn’t want to stop. Max didn’t even dare to pull back to kiss Kyle anywhere else the way he sort of wanted to, because he didn’t want to give any sort of signal in the direction of stopping. And to be fair, Kyle wasn’t stopping either, or giving any indication that he wanted to.

Max slowed down a little, pacing himself, kissing Kyle for longer, slower intervals, trying to make him moan again. Kyle pulled him around a little so Max was pressing him into the wall, propped up and starting to make soft, shivery sounds that were going straight to Max’s dick. He brought one hand up to cup Kyle’s face and hold him still as he kissed him deeper, biting a little as he drew back, teasing the way he was beginning to figure Kyle liked.

Kyle kept making those quiet, breathy sounds, and gasped when Max scraped his nails down the back of his head through the short hair there, his mouth going momentarily slack. Max pressed another kiss against it, and another, and another, deeper each time. Kyle pulled gently at a handful of Max’s hair, and Max moaned into his mouth, breathing heavily as Kyle finally pulled back but didn’t let go.

If he wasn’t letting go, Max figured he didn’t have to either. He couldn’t quite stop his fingertips from rubbing through Kyle’s hair though, some part of him fascinated by it. He’d never kissed anyone with short hair before. He watched as Kyle took a deep breath and then smiled up at him, his lips very wet. “So.”

“Yeah.” Max swallowed. “Uh.”

“Feeling any conclusions?” Kyle’s smile grew a fraction. “Or you wanna keep going?”

Max’s stomach jumped. “Is that – I. Is that okay?”

“Sure. I told you, it’s not a hardship on my end.” Kyle grinned, carding his hand very gently through Max’s hair in a way that made goosebumps spread down his arms. “We could move to the couch though?”

Max swallowed. “Yeah. Sounds good.”

“Cool.” Kyle watched him for a second, then leaned in and kissed him softly. Max relaxed and let himself stand back a bit so Kyle could lead him over to the couch, falling backwards onto it with a grunt and gesturing for Max to follow him down. Max sat at first, but Kyle leaned back into the corner of the arm and put his hand on Max’s arm, exerting just the tiniest amount of pressure. Max considered making a joke about Kyle being lazy, just wanting to lie down, but he was just a shade too nervous for that.

He leaned down without speaking instead and brushed his nose against Kyle’s, just savouring it for a second before Kyle tipped his chin up and pressed their lips together. And that move had Max’s breath freezing for a second in his chest, heat blazing through the pit of his stomach. He didn’t even know what it was, exactly, but it was good. 

They slid further down on the couch over long minutes of making out, branching out a little from each other’s mouths in the process. Max got to kiss Kyle’s neck like he’d wanted to, and he got to see if Kyle liked biting as much as he had when they were under some weird, probably-alien influence in a burned-out building.

Turned out he really did, which was both a fantastic confirmation and a growing problem, in the way that Max’s pants were getting increasingly tight. And in the same way, it both didn’t help and was brilliant at the same time when Kyle shifted underneath him and pressed up against that tightness. Max reacted by groaning into Kyle’s neck and freezing, not sure what he was allowed to do, if anything.

Kyle nuzzled – there was no other word for it – the side of his head. “You okay?”

“Um.” Max took a deep breath, still not sure if he should so much as twitch. “I think I might be bisexual.”

Kyle burst out laughing, and Max hung his head and laughed with him. “Congratulations,” Kyle grinned. “Like, either way.”

“What, even if I decide I’m actually straight?”

“Sure.” Kyle drew back slightly so they could look at each other. “It’s cool.”

“Even if this is just an experiment?”

“Isn’t this just an experiment anyway?” Kyle paused at Max’s hesitation. “That’s okay either way too.”

“That?” Max asked, and immediately wished he hadn’t. Sometimes a little vagueness helped smooth rough edges. But Kyle didn’t seem bothered. He quirked an eyebrow and twitched his shoulder, almost a shrug.

“Yeah. The two of us…making out, fooling around. It’s all fine.”

“You don’t mind?” Max had read quite a lot by now about the irritation of being an experiment, and he didn’t want to make Kyle feel like that.

“Nah.” Kyle smiled, completely at ease. “Look, experimentation gets a bad rap. We can keep doing this for a bit, till you figure stuff out. And if you do, and you wanna keep going, we can talk about that then.” He shrugged properly this time, or as best he could while basically lying down. “We’re adults. It’s all good.”

“You’re…being really nice about this.”

“Yeah, remember how I did a whole personality change and now I actively try to be nice to people?”

Max snorted, and pushed himself up and away a little so they could both sit up properly. “Now you mention it, I do remember something about that.”

“Oh good, it wasn’t all for nothing.” Kyle grinned at him. “Now hey – you came over to watch TV, and I have a sudden need to know if you’ve ever watched Queer Eye.”

“Uh.”

Kyle closed his eyes in what looked like actual rapture. “Max, please let me show you Queer Eye.”

“I’m not really a fan of reality TV,” Max tried, though he already had the sense that he was going to lose this battle.

“Try it,” Kyle implored. “Just try like, one season.”

Max raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t an episode enough to get the gist?”

“Nah, they do a different hero every episode, you need at least three to really decide if you like it or not.”

“Two,” Max bargained, and Kyle grinned.

“Done.”

Max sighed. “I already regret this.”

“Look, dude, think of it this way.” Kyle sat up straighter, fixing him with an intent look. “Picture this: you come out to Isobel. She wants to dunk you headfirst into all the queer culture she’s been enjoying lately. I know she watches Queer Eye. I know she binges TV like she’s being paid for it. Picture her face, being able to tell her, oh, don’t worry.” Kyle grinned. “I already watched it.”

Max pictured it. “You make a compelling point,” he said slowly, and couldn’t help laughing when Kyle pumped his fist in success.

“Hell yes I do. Okay, trust me, you’re gonna love this.”


	5. Kyle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle figures out he's a little gone for Max.

Kyle was aware that he was playing with fire, emotionally speaking. He was walking a very narrow tightrope. He was sailing close to the wind. He was being an idiot however metaphorically it was phrased, and he knew it, but he didn’t want to stop.

Max Evans was just…

He was irresistible, in such a low-key way that Kyle never would’ve seen it coming even if he’d had his eyes open for it. He gave off those floppy-haired, bashful vibes, all respect and big doe eyes, and then he’d go and kiss Kyle like an absolute demon. He just seemed to know exactly what to do and how to do it, which was frankly offensive given how little experience he had.

Kyle tried to backtrack when he thought stuff like that, because he knew from experience that men and women really weren’t as different as all that in bed, and he shouldn’t be anything but happy for Max, but all of that stuff aside, Max was offensively good at it all.

Not even just the making out, which was already bad enough. Kyle was reluctantly coming to terms with the fact that Max might be the best kisser he’d ever had the pleasure to make out with lazily on a couch, and he was an absolute master at ratcheting up the tension and then winding it back down. The man had apparently endless wells of patience for it, and it was hot. There was no other way of putting it without getting effusive. It was just plain hot.

And then he was good in bed too. Mostly with his hands, which was something of a thrill, but again with the endless patience and the determination to do things properly and try out anything Kyle assured him would feel good.

He was still shy about anything going up his own butt, which, fair enough. Kyle had been the same for a while, and he understood Max taking it slow on that front. Max was okay about fingering him now though, which was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because, yet again, he was fucking good at it, and a curse because much like the kissing, it was getting good to the point of being distracting.

Sundays had sort of become their day if Kyle wasn’t working. And he actually tried to make sure he wasn’t now, because he had something to keep the time free for. He told his friends at Roswell General that he was hanging out with a friend from high school, comforting him after his ex had skipped town. It felt like a bit of a lie, but not quite enough of one to be real dishonesty.

Meeting up during the week was harder, but they managed it a couple of times. Their schedules didn’t overlap very well. Max’s was fixed, but he worked late at the Pony almost every night, sometimes from noon till two in the morning. And Kyle’s schedule was roughly restricted to shift times, but those shifts could slide around to suit the hospital, so finding times that worked for them both was tricky.

Kyle’s favourite attempt had been on a Wednesday where he didn’t need to be in the hospital till the afternoon, so Max had come to his instead of going home after his shift at the Pony and they’d spent most of the morning in bed. Kyle had even managed to persuade Max (grumbling for show) to come on a short run with him, and showering together afterwards had been even better.

The next Sunday they had (at Max’s this time), Kyle narrowly missed bumping into Isobel – he recognised her car on the road out to Max’s place, and spent the rest of the drive wondering whether she’d recognised him, and what to say if she asked him or Max about it.

“Did I just miss Isobel?” he asked as he went in, finding Max at his desk.

“Hi.” He looked up with a small smile, and then made a face. “Yeah, by like five minutes.”

“Does she know we’re…?”

“No.” Max looked down at his laptop, hands still on the keys. “I’m still kinda…I wanna sit with this for a bit before I tell her and Michael.”

“About being bi?” Kyle checked, not sure if that was what Max meant.

“Yeah. And I don’t mind telling them about us either, but I already know they’re both gonna ask a lot of questions. Not in a bad way, just in a, it’ll be a lot way. And they’ll ask about Liz, and I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet.”

Kyle had been avoiding the subject of Liz too, if he was honest. “Have you guys talked at all? Like, calls, or messages, or anything?” He put his bag down on the couch and sat on the back of it, holding onto it so he wouldn’t cross his arms. He didn’t want to come across as interrogating Max at all.

Max shook his head, still not looking at him. “Nothing. I guess she knows I’m still mad at her. And I know she’s probably still pissed at me.” He glanced up. “Have you talked to her at all?”

“A couple of times. Just checking in on each other, getting updates, that kinda thing.” Kyle flexed his fingers on the back of the couch. “She moved in okay, there’s a guy in her new lab she’s got some rivalry going on with.”

Max seemed to absorb that slowly, and Kyle’s heart constricted as he watched. He didn’t know whether he wanted Max to ask if Liz had ever talked about him, or not. And if he did, what should Kyle say? 

But Max just pushed his chair back a bit and shook his head again. “It’s always about the work, with Liz.”

“That’s not true,” Kyle said immediately, and to his relief Max sighed.

“Yeah, okay, it’s not. But it is a lot of the time, and she doesn’t…God, I’m still so mad at her.” He laughed humourlessly. “Like, I get that I destroyed the stuff she’d been working on for months, but what else was I supposed to do? If I hadn’t thought Diego sounded kinda shady, if I hadn’t got Cam to bug him and his boss, if I’d been any slower getting there than I had – they had access already. They would’ve found actual evidence of extra-terrestrial life on Earth, they would’ve had biological samples from me, Michael, and Isobel, and it’s like Liz didn’t even care.”

Kyle swallowed down an instinctive protest and took a moment to think of a better response. “She does care. She does,” he repeated at Max’s helpless expression. “She’s just better at thinking big-picture than small. She saw the potential and she wanted to use it, and she didn’t think through all the steps between. Look, I’m at fault as much as her. I knew she was continuing her research, and I didn’t tell you, and I should’ve.”

“Why didn’t you?” Max asked. Before they’d become closer, Kyle imagined he would have said it accusingly. Now he just sounded confused, and that was so much worse.

“I didn’t wanna mess anything up between you. I wanted Liz to stop on her own.” He sighed. “I wanted her to tell you herself. Lots of reasons. And…” Well, if anyone would understand, surely Max would. “It was Liz,” he said quietly. “I didn’t wanna betray her trust.” It was such a hard thing to gain, after all. He’d never truly had it when they’d dated in high school, and then when they’d come back together as adults, it had been a heady, overpowering thing. To be pulled along in the wake of someone as brilliant as Liz, even if it led to things like wondering whether his dad had been capable of having an affair with a teenager, or stealing hospital equipment, it was overwhelming and addictive.

“You should’ve,” Max muttered.

“Maybe.” Kyle sighed. “Look, I’m not saying I was in the right, and I’m definitely not saying that she was. But – you know what she did with Steph? My friend from the hospital?”

Max’s expression darkened. “Yeah.”

“Right, and that was the stupidest thing she’s ever done, hands down. That’s out in the world now, and there’s literally no way to know if that’s a timebomb that’s gonna come back on us. But if she hadn’t done that, Steph would be dead. And I know you understand how important that is, because you saved Liz’s life.”

Max scowled, but ironed it out a moment later. “It was Liz.”

“Right. And you made a choice because you saw her dying in front of you and you couldn’t _not_ heal her. Liz did exactly the same. And like I said, it was probably a really bad idea, but it means Steph’s alive right now.” He swallowed. “I can’t be mad at her for that.”

Max closed his eyes, but finally nodded. “I get that.”

Kyle slumped a little, relieved. “And I get you being pissed as hell at Liz for being so thoughtless about what she was doing.”

After a long pause, Max frowned. “Were you and Steph a thing?”

“Uh.” Kyle shifted and cleared his throat. “Kinda, yeah.” 

“But…not now?”

“Well, she kinda skipped town, so.” Kyle shrugged awkwardly, but Max snorted.

“I know how that goes.”

It startled a laugh out of Kyle, and Max grinned in response. “I’m not mad at Steph though,” Kyle told him.

“Why not?”

“Ah.” Kyle lifted his hands. “Life’s too short. She was literally dying; people do all sorts of crazy things when they’re dying. Like dating doctors.”

“Wow, ouch.” Max laughed. “Go easier on yourself, man. It’s her loss.”

“Thanks.” And Max’s gain? Kyle absolutely wasn’t going to ask that, so he settled for standing up and clapping his hands together. “Now I think you said something about giving me free reign in your kitchen?”

“Uh, did I say that?” Max stood too, grinning. “Pretty sure I said you could _look_.”

“You just hate that I run rings around you in the kitchen, Evans.”

“It’s not exactly hard, I know like three recipes and I mix them with takeout on rotation.”

“Which, I’ve told you, is a total waste of money.”

“I’m supporting local businesses!”

“You’re a sucker, is what you are.”

He ate those words later, pinning Max down on his bed and sucking him off while Max groaned and panted. He’d put his own hands flat on the sheets, keeping himself still, and on a total guess Kyle had gripped his forearms to hold them there. Max had moaned, and when Kyle had squeezed and pressed them down into the mattress, he’d breathed a quiet, “Fuck,” that sounded very much like a _yes_ to Kyle.

Maybe he should’ve figured from the way Max liked having his hair pulled, but it was still a total headtrip, in the best way possible. Kyle knelt at the end of the bed, Max’s legs spread either side of his shoulders, and lost himself in sucking Max’s cock, in drawing it out the way they’d figured they both liked. He kept trying to recapture the rapturous way he’d sucked Max off in the lab, where he’d kept going because he just couldn’t stop. He’d never figured himself a masochist, but there was something about the way he had to concentrate on his breathing, the way he had to control his speed, the way his jaw began to hurt worse and worse the longer it went on, the way his chest would sometimes ache from breathing too little.

He’d always taken pride in how good his blowjobs were, but this was on a whole other level. 

Max pulled him up onto the bed afterwards, half-wrestling him onto his back as they laughed into each other’s mouths, grabbing at Kyle’s dick to distract him. “Cheat,” Kyle breathed between deep kisses as Max stroked him, dry and light and teasing. 

“You play by the rules too much,” Max grinned. 

“Asshole.” 

“If you insist.” Max slid his hand lower, between Kyle’s legs, and Kyle snickered.

“Wow, that was _bad_ , dude.”

“You’re laughing,” Max pointed out, smug as anything, and gave Kyle another bruising kiss before propping himself up on one elbow and reaching across him to grab the tub of lube off his nightstand.

“It’s a pity laugh,” Kyle grinned, and yelped in laughter when Max dug his fingers into his ribs. “Hey!”

“Don’t be a dick then,” Max said, biting – not gently – at Kyle’s neck. His traitorous body reacted on automatic, head falling back and a lazy smile settling over his face, and Max laughed and bit him again, trailing a line of stinging almost-kisses down to his chest. Kyle wondered whether he should tell Max he didn’t have to avoid his nipples the way he always did, but he was distracted by Max pushing his knee up and squeezing his ass.

He’d figured out that Kyle liked being pushed around a little bit in bed, and he wasn’t shy about it anymore. How he’d figured it out, Kyle didn’t know, but he wasn’t questioning it. He heard the spin of the lid on the lube and groaned when Max pushed a slick finger into him, again, no longer shy. 

Teeth scraped at the knee he had propped up, lube dripped onto his cock, and Kyle arched his back and settled in for the ride, toes already curling from how good it felt. Max stroked him slow and firm, to the rhythm of his fingers bending inside Kyle’s body, pushing him relentlessly towards a quick orgasm.

“Fuck, ahh, ahh,” he groaned, fists clenching in the sheets as it rushed through him, almost too fast. He kept flexing his hips, trying to draw it out, and Max kept his fingers going. The aftershocks trailed out but the pleasure just kept building, and Kyle twisted his head and cried out when Max kept going, and going. 

He was being so loud, but he knew Max liked that, so he reached up and dug his fingers into his pillow to stop himself pressing his face into it, still riding it out. His whole body was arching now, and he was still panting out desperate cries as Max’s fingers kept moving inside him. 

“Shit, Max, Max, Max,” he chanted, eyes squeezed shut. “Oh, oh fu – _fuck_ , please, Max, ah, _ahhh_ –”

It was almost painfully good, overstimulating in a way that had Kyle’s voice breaking as he kept begging for more without words. He twisted his body and Max laid a heavy hand on his chest to still him, and Kyle whined helplessly, feeling almost like he could come again.

“Ah, ah, ah, okay, oh, okay –” It ebbed at last and he rolled half onto his side, trembling, and Max slowed and stopped, leaving his fingers deep in Kyle, almost to the knuckle.

“Okay?” he whispered, his voice very low.

“Yeah,” Kyle breathed. “Holy shit, yeah. Oh my God.” Max’s fingers flexed, and Kyle gave a thin whine. “Ahhhah.”

“Okay?” Max asked again, and Kyle could hear him grinning, the asshole. 

He groaned again and tried to summon the energy to kick him or something. He shivered instead, and gasped when Max curled his fingers again before sliding them – very slowly – out. “Okay,” he said nonsensically.

“Yeah?” Max smiled, and Kyle heard him grab a couple of wipes.

“Ask me in a…” Kyle’s brain skated over various options and settled on, “Minutes.”

Max laughed and cleaned him up. Kyle shivered again when he slid a wipe over his entrance, deliciously oversensitive. 

“Oh, that was good,” he said, fully aware of how sex-stupid he sounded. He’d been fucked past the point of orgasm before and knew he liked that, but the pinpoint pressure of fingers on his prostate was even better, apparently. He definitely needed to do that again.

“You sounded like you enjoyed it,” Max agreed cheerfully, lying down next to him. Kyle hooked a leg over his thigh without thinking about it, and Max shifted a little closer. For a little while they just lay there while Kyle recovered, and in the quiet, Max draped an arm over Kyle’s hip and drew soft lines on the small of his back with his fingertips. 

It was kind of perfect, and Kyle took a moment to firmly push away any and all romantic feelings before he opened his eyes and found Max looking right back at him. 

“You okay?” Max asked, smiling, and Kyle rolled his eyes.

“Don’t get an ego about it. Yes, it was amazing, yes, I’m only saying that once.”

It got a belly-deep laugh out of Max, which made Kyle laugh too. “Alright,” Max grinned. “Hey, uh. So, I tried, um. Fingering myself, at home?”

“Yeah?” Kyle smiled. 

“Yeah. It definitely wasn’t like that.” Max’s eyes flicked down their bodies, presumably indicating Kyle’s ass. “I guess…I mean, you like it, right?”

“Yeah, I think you’re well aware of how much I like it by now,” Kyle said dryly, and Max snorted.

“Sure, but was it that good from the start?”

“Nah.” Kyle pursed his lips. “It kinda took me a while. It didn’t hurt or anything – it didn’t hurt when you tried it, right?” he checked, suddenly worried.

“No.” Max looked down. “It was just weird. Like, it still feels like an exit-only kinda passage, y’know?”

Kyle bit back a laugh. “I get that.”

“How many times did you have to do it before it started feeling…not weird?” Max asked, sounding a little helpless.

“I don’t know how many _times._ ” Kyle frowned, thinking back. “I started doing it because I wanted my boyfriend at the time to fuck me. I’d only ever topped before, and yeah, I was kinda freaked out about it hurting, so I worked my way up to it. I wasn’t really focused on it feeling good, I just wanted to be able to do it.” He saw Max’s raised eyebrows and shrugged. “I’m goal-oriented, y’know?”

“You don’t say.”

“Shut up.” Kyle laughed. “I know I worked up to it for maybe a month? Like, two fingers, three, then a dildo. I wanted to surprise him.” It had worked a treat too, if he did say so himself. “I didn’t figure it could feel good just on its own for a while. Keep trying with it,” he advised. “And if you figure you don’t like it, or you don’t want anything bigger than fingers up there, it’s no big deal. Plenty of people don’t like getting fucked like that.”

“Yeah.” Max sucked his lower lip between his teeth for a second. “I liked…in the lab, when you just sorta, uh. Went between my legs.”

“Yeah?”

Max nodded, and Kyle grinned. “We can definitely do that again. It’s better with more than spit anyway.”

He showed Max as much later, before they went to bed to actually sleep. It was Max who got onto his knees so Kyle would kneel behind him, slicking his thighs with lube and pressing in slow. Max arched his back and murmured, “Come on,” so Kyle started fucking him in earnest, gripping his hips at first and then smoothing his hands over Max’s back and down his legs, around to palm at his dick, which twitched in his grasp. 

It was a hunch that had him reaching forward to slide his hand into Max’s hair, and Max squeezed his thighs tighter together and moaned, so Kyle got a handful and pulled. Gentle at first, then harder when Max made another encouraging sound.

“God, you’re so hot,” Kyle muttered, and Max clenched his thighs again. “Fuuuck, fuck, Max, come here, c’mon.” He pulled and leaned back until Max was kneeling up, his back against Kyle’s chest. He rolled his head back onto Kyle’s shoulder and twisted his arms back to hold onto him, to urge him on as Kyle kept fucking between his thighs. “Okay?” Kyle checked, pulling his head further back by his hair, and Max’s mouth fell open.

“Ah, yes, yeah,” he managed, voice cracking, and Kyle pulled his hair again to make him whine. “ _Kyle_.” 

“I got you.” Kyle kissed his neck, wrapping his other hand properly around Max’s dick and stroking him firmly. “You’re so fucking hot, you’re so good, I’ve got you, that’s right…” He ran his mouth sometimes in bed, and he hadn’t done it with Max before, but Max seemed to either like it or at least not mind. His chest was heaving, and he came after another few seconds of Kyle stroking him to the same rhythm as fucking him.

He didn’t let go of Kyle, hands digging into his ass to keep him thrusting forward, so Kyle kept babbling nonsense into his neck and came on a stuttered groan of his own, burying his face in Max’s shoulder.

And if they were both a little clingy after that, was it a big deal? If Max cradled the back of his head like he was something precious, it didn’t have to mean anything deep. If Kyle cuddled up behind him in bed and fell asleep with his nose tucked against the top of Max’s spine, it might just be because that rain smell was so good.

It was a message from Liz that pushed Kyle into actually confronting his feelings. She’d finally asked about Max – or technically, all the aliens, but he could tell she was specifically fishing for a Max update – and Kyle was hit with the very, very unpleasant reality that he was hooking up with his friend’s ex. Or his ex’s ex. Neither was good friend behaviour. And Max and Liz might have parted on bad terms, but Kyle and Liz hadn’t, and he actually wanted to keep her in his life.

There was no avoiding the fact that fucking her ex-boyfriend was the sort of thing that would probably be a barrier to that.

Kyle decided to bring it up with Max the next time he went over his place, in case it ended awkwardly. He could leave and pick up a consolation pizza on his way home, and deal with it without making it too embarrassing for everyone involved. It would be fine.

“Okay, so I know we’re like, two episodes from finishing season three,” Max said when Kyle came in, and he couldn’t help grinning because he loved the way Max didn’t even bother saying hello, just picked right up as though they were already in the middle of a conversation. “And I know you’re _gonna_ say no, but there’s this documentary about booksellers.”

“No.” Kyle smirked. “Oh look, you were right.”

“It looks really good!”

“You’re such a nerd. Why wasn’t I picking on you in high school?”

“You were too busy being a dick to other people,” Max said, managing to be both reasonable and annoying about it.

“Yeah.” Kyle pretended to sigh nostalgically. “Those were the days.”

“You’re still kind of a dick now, don’t worry,” Max grinned, coming over to sling an arm around his waist and kiss him, cutting off his protests. 

“I’m charming,” Kyle managed to say, and Max laughed, kissing him again.

“So charming,” he agreed, voice low and sexy, and okay, it was pretty dreamy. Kyle could admit that. But he’d come here with an objective, so he allowed himself a second more in Max’s arms and then slid away, putting his bag down by the couch, but not on it this time. Just in case. 

“So I’ve been thinking,” he started. “It might be time to uh, talk about what we’re doing.”

Max blinked. “Huh?”

“Like…” Kyle grasped for a subtle way to say it, and couldn’t think of one. “Like, what we’re doing, like…us.” He gestured sort of uselessly between them. “Just, y’know. What are we? Are we just hooking up, or are we…is this more?”

“Are we dating.” Max summarised, and Kyle nodded, realising in an unpleasantly sudden way that he was hoping very hard for one outcome over the other in this. 

“Yeah,” he said, so he didn’t curse. 

“Well, um.” Max had been comfortable and loose before, and now his shoulders were creeping up to his ears. “Do you. Uh. Do you wanna be?”

Kyle had accepted right at the beginning of all this that honesty was more important than dignity, but that didn’t make this any easier. He glanced away and hoped he didn’t look too pathetic. “Look, I won’t lie to you, man, this has been…I mean, yeah.” He laughed, because what else could he do? “I’m a sucker, you were right, and I should’ve seen this coming. I’m a total sucker for unavailable people. Jesus – you, Steph, Liz…I’m an idiot.”

“I’m not with Liz,” Max said kind of blankly, and when Kyle looked at him, he saw that Max was staring in what seemed to be total incomprehension.

“But you’re still in love with her, right?” Kyle swallowed another laugh, because it wasn’t actually funny. Not for him, anyway. “And so am I, a little bit. I mean, what I’m doing with you, I’m being for you what I was for her, while you were dead. Not the hooking up,” he added hurriedly, seeing Max flinch. “Just – support, y’know? Being, being whatever she needed me to be, that’s what I’m doing for you, because I like doing that, I do, but…”

Max was still staring, and Kyle rubbed a hand across his face, horribly aware that he was screwing this up. “She’ll come back,” he said helplessly. “Liz, she’ll come back, I mean she owns half the Crashdown, so for that alone, but she’ll come back for you because she’s still in love with you, and you two’ll get back together because you’re like.” He waved a hand. “Y’know, destined, basically, and I’ll be. I’ll be just kinda left in the dust, again. And it’ll be my own fault, I just keep doing this to myself.” He rubbed his face again, hating himself a little bit. “I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not.” Max took a step towards him, wide-eyed. “Kyle.”

“I’m kind of an idiot.” Kyle looked at his bag on the floor. “I should probably go.”

“Wait, hold on.” Max stepped forward again and grabbed his elbow, and let go the second Kyle looked at him. “I don’t…does all that mean you do want to date me?”

Well at least Kyle wasn’t the only idiot in the room. “Yes,” he said. “Yeah.” He swallowed and looked away, and Max grabbed his arm again.

“Kyle.” He held on this time, and squeezed when Kyle looked up at him. “I’m not unavailable.”

Kyle breathed in. “What about Liz?”

Max hesitated, and let go of him. Kyle hoped it wasn’t obvious how much he wanted to run away, but figured that ship had probably sailed. “Yeah,” Max said quietly. “But I don’t want this to end, what we’re doing.”

This was so much worse than telling Liz he couldn’t be her rock once she got Max back. At least he hadn’t been sleeping with her at the time. Kyle looked down at Max’s hands and nodded. “I know. But I can’t be your backup option while Liz isn’t here. I mean.” He swallowed. “I can. It just. Y’know. Probably isn’t a good idea. For me.” He saw Max’s chest rise and fall slowly.

“I do still love Liz,” Max said in a low voice. “And maybe it’s like you said, maybe I always will be, but I love you too.” Kyle’s head snapped up, but Max kept talking, his eyes fixed somewhere on the floor between them. “And I wouldn’t want this to end even if she does come back, even if she came back tomorrow.”

Kyle was still kind of focused on the middle part. “You love me?”

“Yeah.” Max blinked and looked at him, then shifted guiltily. “Look, you can’t get weird about that, you just told me you wanna date me.”

Kyle was distantly aware that he was starting to smile. “I did.”

“Yeah, so.” Max started smiling too, a little nervous around the edges. 

“So,” Kyle echoed, really grinning now. 

“Shut up.” Max rolled his eyes and lifted his hands to cup Kyle’s face, bringing him in for a kiss that Kyle was smiling too much to properly return. “Date me then,” Max muttered against his lips.

“Yeah?” Kyle laughed, and slid closer somehow until his arms were wrapped tightly around Max’s waist, his face against Max’s hair. Max’s arms were heavy and welcome around his shoulders, one thumb rubbing softly at Kyle’s shoulder blade. “You sure?” Kyle mumbled.

“Yeah.” Max squeezed him. “I want to.”

“Officially?”

“Yeah.” 

“Okay.” Kyle swallowed a couple more times, possibly to try and push down the lump in his throat. “We can watch that book documentary if you want.”

Max laughed, and Kyle closed his eyes to savour it, not ready to let go yet. They hadn’t really hugged before, which seemed fitting. It felt more intimate than a kiss in this moment, and Kyle wanted to soak it up, so relieved and happy he was actually blinking away the threat of tears. He hadn’t even realised how badly gone he was for Max till he was blurting all that stuff out, which in hindsight was really embarrassing. 

“We don’t have to,” Max said, and Kyle shook his head as much as he could, squished tight against Max like this.

“No, I want to. You’re cute when you nerd out.”

Max’s smile was warm in his voice when he spoke. “Shut up. I know you’re gonna use this to make me watch some sorta sports with you later.”

“You can’t prove anything.” Kyle turned his face into Max’s hair and breathed in deep before loosening his grip, sliding away so they could see each other’s faces. Max was smiling, crooked and pleased, and Kyle was sure his own face was bright red. “Y’know, when I said we should check in later to talk about what we were doing with all this,” he said, “I didn’t picture it being so embarrassing for me.”

“Oh, I thought you handled it real gracefully,” Max said, and Kyle could tell now that he was only mostly joking.

“You’re a really bad liar, but thanks, I appreciate that.” His eyes fell closed as Max pulled him for another kiss, one Kyle could actually return this time.

Objectively, he knew that his worth as a person wasn’t defined by who wanted to be in a relationship with him, and his recent relationship history being heavy on the onesidedness was just bad luck. But unobjectively, it was kind of amazing for the person he loved to actually love him back in the way he wanted. 

Kyle took the length of the documentary – which actually was kind of interesting, annoyingly – to process all that, and as the credits rolled and Max turned to him with a hopeful smile, he met it with a soft kiss. “It was good,” he admitted, and in the face of Max’s grin, added, “and I love you too. And you were right, I think you should try watching some baseball. It’s one of the nerdiest sports, there’s gotta be some part of it that’ll appeal to you.”

“Don’t bet on it,” Max grinned. “And don’t bet on having any time to do that in the near future.”

Kyle blinked. “Why?”

“Because I’m gonna tell Isobel and Michael tomorrow that I’m bi, and you’re my boyfriend. And weirdly enough, Planet 7 is a much less nerve-wracking concept when I know I won’t be under any pressure to get off with anyone but you, so I’d plan on a night out at your earliest convenience.”

“My earliest convenience, huh?” Kyle loved the way Max talked sometimes. “Alright, you got a deal. But don’t think you’re getting out of baseball for good. This is just a delay.”

“A temporary reprieve,” Max agreed, and rubbed the tip of his nose against Kyle’s. “Fine by me. You wanna get takeout?”

Since that would mean more time in bed, and right now Kyle was very much feeling the urge to drag Max in that direction, he nodded. “Sounds good.”

“Good,” Max murmured, and turned his head to press their lips together.


	6. Max

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max finally tells Isobel and Michael and everyone dances it out.

Max had been very cavalier when he’d told Kyle he planned on finally coming out to Isobel and Michael next time he saw them, but now the time had come, he was kind of shitting himself.

He knew all his reasons were totally normal, but that didn’t make him feel any less nervous. It probably didn’t help that he sometimes still wondered whether he really was bisexual, or if what he had with Kyle was just a weird exception. He still hesitated to call himself bisexual occasionally, even if it was just in his own head. He hadn’t been able to look back on his life and see things through a new lens; Kyle was still the first man he’d ever been attracted to. When he wasn’t with Kyle, he often didn’t _feel_ bisexual, or queer, in some way that he was sure he should, if it was real.

When he was with Kyle, it all felt good. Kyle made everything easy, not freaky or scary at all. Max had expected to be nervous to the point of being unable to get it up the first time they’d gone further than making out, even though it technically wasn’t anything they hadn’t done before. And maybe it was that, but Max thought it was more that Kyle was so calm. Unbothered without ever giving the impression that he didn’t care. Like he trusted Max to call the shots for himself, to decide on his own what he was capable of.

Max hadn’t realised how good that would feel till Kyle gave it to him, and it was that more than anything else that made everything they did together easy, even stuff he never would have thought to try before. 

With Kyle, he didn’t worry that he wasn’t really bisexual, or copying his siblings, or going through a phase. Away from him, it was often a different story, and he didn’t know whether telling other people was going to make the doubts worse or make them go away.

And all of that was totally normal and thousands of other people had gone through those exact doubts a million times, so Max knew he wasn’t alone with these worries, but it still sucked.

He just quailed at the idea of telling Isobel and Michael and their reactions being scepticism and raised eyebrows and sarcasm. Rejection, in short. And he hated that one of the reasons he wanted to tell them about him and Kyle was to prove he wasn’t lying about being bi.

Kyle had offered to be there for it, but Max had assured him he’d be fine. And also, if they had to wait for a time when all their schedules lined up, it would probably take at least two weeks, and Max wanted to do this sooner. Now he’d finally decided to do it, he wanted it done.

He took an evening off for it, so Michael wouldn’t have to take a morning off from the junkyard, and reminded Isobel again that he wasn’t buying wine for her, and if she wanted to drink it, she’d have to bring it herself. He suspected she arrived earlier than Michael just for the chance to complain about that without them ganging up on her, but he just laughed and got the fire pit going.

Michael pulled up not long after, barely bothering to park. “Beer me,” he said in greeting. “I hate all humans.”

Isobel rolled her eyes. “No you don’t.” 

“I hate all humans who are idiots about their cars,” Michael corrected. Max didn’t hear the rest of his grumbling, going inside to grab them both beers.

For a while they just hung out, conversation easier between them than it had been since high school. Michael went inside to rifle through his cupboards and returned with a big bag of chips they passed around, and Isobel updated them on her latest exploits.

“You aiming to sleep with every available woman in the county?” Michael asked, smirking. 

Isobel flipped him off. “I’ll sleep with as many as I like. Just because you’re a sad, serial monogamist doesn’t mean I have to me.”

“Hey, maybe our species is naturally polyamorous,” Michael joked, grinning at Max.

“Maybe,” he agreed, and took a deep breath. He wasn’t likely to get a better segue than that, after all. “It’s looking pretty good for us being naturally bisexual though, even if the sample size is too small to make any conclusions, or whatever you said.” His stomach clenched in the silence that followed, Isobel and Michael both staring at him.

“Do you mean,” Michael started, and Isobel leaned forward and cut him off.

“Max, are you _bi?_ ” The unrestrained delight in her tone was such a relief that Max laughed, looking down before nodding.

“Yeah.”

“Holy crap.” Michael let out a bark of laughter. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.” Max hoped the swell of nerves that bubbled up at that didn’t show.

“Was that why you were asking about it before?” Michael grinned, and Max relaxed as he realised he was just pleased, not making fun. 

“Yeah,” he admitted, and laughed when Michael leaned over and clinked his bottle against Max’s. 

“That’s awesome, man.”

“I can’t believe this.” Isobel sounded like she was having a religious experience. “This is the best thing I’ve ever heard. Max, this is the best present you’ve ever given me.”

“Can a man’s sexual awakening not belong to himself?” Michael asked, and Isobel threw her hand up, palm out, to stop him.

“Not when we’re all aliens. We’re all rainbow-flavoured aliens!”

“Took you two long enough to catch up,” Michael said, perhaps justifiably smug. “What did I say to you, Iz? Like, last year or whatever? Welcome to the team?”

“I think your exact words were something about a bisexual alien blast,” Isobel said, clearly trying not to sound as fond as she was. “Oh my God.” She turned to Max with wide eyes. “Are you gonna tell Mom and Dad?”

“I’m not gonna keep it a secret, so, I guess?” Max shrugged. “I didn’t really think beyond telling you guys, but I’ll tell Cam too, and Maria. Uh, actually, there’s something else too.”

“Something else?” Isobel made a show of lifting her hand to her ear. “Spill.”

“I’m, uh. Seeing someone.”

Isobel actually squeaked. “Who?” she demanded. “Do I know them?”

“You both do,” Max said, which made Michael sit up a little straighter, clearly not expecting that. “It’s, um. It’s Kyle.” He tried to watch both their reactions at once, eyes flicking between their faces and holding his breath as he did.

“Kyle _Valenti?_ ” Michael’s eyes were so wide, Max could see the whites even in the dim firelight.

“Obviously it’s Kyle Valenti.” Isobel smacked Michael’s knee without looking away from Max. “What other Kyles do we both know? Is it?” she added a second later, slightly undermining her point.

“Yeah, it’s him.” Max forced himself to take a breath, wishing he’d had a little more to drink. “We’re both…we’re –”

“Dating.” Michael finally blinked, slumping back in his chair. “You and Valenti.”

“Oh my God, I’m so glad I never slept with him,” Isobel whispered, and scowled when Max and Michael both started in with the shocked noises. “Oh shut up, it was at Planet 7, he’s hot, we were both single, nothing happened. Which, whew, thank God, right?” She laughed, maybe a little hysterically, and leaned over to squeeze Max’s hand. “How long have you two been a thing?”

“Uh, officially? Two days ago.”

“Unofficially?” Michael asked.

“More like two months.”

Michael sighed. “Well. I guess there really is no getting rid of him now. God, Max, you have such a _type._ ”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Max asked, not sure yet whether he needed to have his guard up.

“Nothing bad!” Michael protested. “Just, y’know. You really went and found the two people in the world most qualified to dissect you and fell for both of them.”

“And they both happen to be hot Mexican scientists,” Isobel said slyly, and Max was so glad the dark meant it wouldn’t be visible if he blushed.

“He’s nice,” he griped. 

“He is,” Isobel agreed, gentler. “And he already knows about us, so we won’t have to be careful around him or anything.”

“You could do a lot worse,” Michael nodded, making a show of grudging acceptance that had Max rolling his eyes, smiling.

“Thanks, guys.”

“Do you want to tell Mom and Dad together?” Isobel asked. “Or separately? I can totally be your backup.”

“They’re gonna think you’re the bad influence,” Max said. “You realise that, right?”

“Ugh, I’ve always been the cooler twin, it’s no big deal.” Isobel waved a hand, rings glinting in the firelight, and Max smiled, warmed in a way he never used to be by her referring to them as twins. He used to just take it for granted, after all.

“They can trace it back to me if they want,” Michael grinned. “I’m the original bad influence. And the original bisexual alien.” He spread his arms, smug, and Max snorted.

“You’re so full of it.”

“Sue me, I told you, I’m just glad you guys caught up.”

“So am I,” Max said, more earnest than he’d intended. It got Michael’s smile to take a turn into being genuine, so of course he quickly turned away and took a gulp of his beer to hide it.

“Next step.” Isobel pointed at both of them. “Expanding your abilities.”

“Ugh, why?” Michael groaned. It had the flavour of an old argument, even though Isobel had only brought the idea up to Max a couple of times. By Michael’s reaction, Max guessed she’d brought it up with him more. “I’m happy with what I’ve got, thanks. The last thing I need is a window into other people’s heads, or flickering lights when I get pissed off.”

“Think how useful it could be if we learned to heal though,” Isobel said, looking between them. Max realised a beat too late that she was serious, and shook his head.

“It sucks, Iz. Seriously, it makes me feel awful whenever I do it.”

“Maybe you just need practice,” Isobel suggested.

“Or maybe that’s the way it works,” Michael said, more pessimistic. “Maybe that’s just the price you pay. That’s what you said, right, Max? It’s energy transference. You can’t heal someone without pulling that energy out of yourself, and that’s what makes you feel so bad. And that’s why you died when you brought Rosa back.”

Max’s hand gravitated to his chest without meaning to, to the huge scar that was still healing under his shirt. It was one of the things he loved about Kyle, actually – he never treated it as anything but a scar, no more remarkable than any of the others on Max’s body. He never made a big deal out of it, or ignored it, or treated it like proof of Max’s vulnerability or weakness. It was just there, unavoidable, and Kyle never tried to avoid it.

Isobel sighed. “You’re thinking too small.”

Michael raised his eyebrows. “Excuse me?”

“These powers aren’t the only ones our species has access to.” Isobel gestured between them. “Sanders said your mom could make things grow. Wouldn’t that be cool?”

Michael went still, and Max tensed in response, not sure whether he was about to flip out or not. But Michael took a deep breath, eyes flicking to Max and away, and then nodded. “Maybe. We don’t know how to access those powers though,” he said quietly. “We don’t have anyone to teach us. I helped you with your telekinesis.”

“Not as much as I helped myself,” Isobel said stubbornly. “We don’t know what we don’t know, I get that, but we don’t know what we are capable of too. You always wanted to find out more before. We should look into the Project Shepherd files Alex has.”

“They tortured our people,” Michael snapped.

“And probably found some useful information out too,” Isobel said, cool and calm. “Things like what kinds of powers they had. That information could help Maria too,” she said, with the air of someone laying down an ace.

Michael glared at her, then at his beer. “I think you can forget about healing. Max is special, remember? He’s literally the saviour, and I bet being able to heal people is why.”

“Do you know what the name Michael means?” Max cut in. “It means ‘who is like God’. And Isobel means ‘pledged to God’.” He shrugged helplessly. “It’s just a name. It might not mean anything.”

“Or it might mean everything,” Michael said darkly, then seemed to make an effort to smile. “What does Max mean then?”

“Nothing,” Max sighed. “On its own, it doesn’t mean anything. Maxwell means ‘great spring’ and Maximillian means ‘greatest’, but Max isn’t anything.”

“Awww.” Isobel leaned over and patted his arm patronisingly. “You’ll always be something to us, Max.”

“Even if you’re dating Kyle Valenti,” Michael agreed, and laughed when Max pretended to glare at him.

Exactly as Max had predicted, Isobel insisted on all of them going to Planet 7 to celebrate Max’s coming out. All of them meaning her, Max, and Michael, but she decided after letting Max dangle anxiously for a minute to allow Kyle to come too.

Kyle insisted that Max didn’t need to dress any differently than he would on a normal night out, but considering that Max hadn’t been one for nights out anywhere but the Pony even before he’d started working there, he ended up video-calling Kyle after discarding four shirts on the night itself. “I know you said I didn’t need to dress up or down or whatever,” he said when Kyle picked up, “but I really don’t wanna stand out.”

Kyle laughed, head falling back and teeth flashing. “Aw, Max. You know most people _try_ to stand out when they go out.”

“Not me.” Max looked down at himself. “I’m a blend-in kinda guy.”

“Because you wanna be, or because you’ve been in hiding all your life?”

Max frowned at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. “Maybe both? I don’t know.”

“Hold the phone back a bit, what’re you wearing now?” Max did, grimacing, but Kyle just made a considering noise. “You gonna be dancing?”

“I don’t think I have a choice in the matter.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” Kyle smiled. He knew what Isobel was like, after all. “What jeans are you wearing?”

“Uh, these ones?” Max tilted the phone, discomfort easing a little at the way Kyle was definitely not laughing at him. 

“Okay, those are good, keep those.” Kyle made another thoughtful noise as Max tilted the phone back up so they could see each other’s faces again. “Depends whether you think you’ll get too hot in the shirt you’ve got. You look hot in those tighter long-sleeved ones though, so there is that.”

Max laughed, shaking his head. “Shut up.”

“You do! Seriously dude, you’ve got a great shoulder to waist ratio and you should absolutely show that off.”

“I don’t really have anything tight that doesn’t have long sleeves.”

Kyle shrugged. “Wear whatever you think’ll be comfortable, man. Planet 7’s pretty laid-back anyway, there’ll be plenty of guys in boots and jackets and hats.”

“Yeah?”

“You never been in at all?”

“Like, once, years ago. And it was to break up a fight outside, so I was only inside for about thirty seconds, and no one was exactly thrilled to see me.”

“Trust me then,” Kyle said easily. “You’ll blend in whatever you wear. And they have makeup there, if you decide you wanna get your sparkle on.”

“Again, I don’t think I’ll have a choice in the matter if Isobel decides she wants to see me sparkle,” Max said dryly. “She’s being aggressively supportive.”

“And Michael?”

“Smug.” Max grinned. “About getting there first. And he kinda implied he wouldn’t fight me off with a stick if I wanted to ask him any more questions, so that was nice. Isobel can’t wait for me to tell our parents.”

“For the entertainment value? Or so she won’t be the only one?” They sounded like genuine questions, and Max had to remind himself again that although Kyle had Rosa now, he’d grown up an only child. It was hard enough imagining what it must be like for human siblings to grow up without a telepathic connection to each other, let alone imagining growing up without a sibling at all.

“Bit of both, maybe. I’m not exactly looking forward to it.”

Kyle paused. “Your parents won’t like it?”

“It’s.” Max sighed and went back into his bedroom, flopping down on the bed. “They won’t be awful about it or disown me or anything. My mom’ll say some awkward things but she’ll be happy for me, especially when I tell her I’m dating a doctor,” he added dryly. “That might even make up for me quitting the force.”

“And your dad?”

“He’ll like it less. He probably won’t say anything about it, he’ll just be quiet.” Max made a face. “He’s…he’s a kind of hands-off guy. And I’m not…” It was weirdly difficult to say this, especially knowing he’d only ever talked about it to Liz before. “I wasn’t the kind of son I think he maybe wanted,” Max said, trying to make it sound casual, like it didn’t bother him. “I mean, you know what I’m like, what I was like in school.”

“A…nerd?” Kyle hazarded, eyebrows pinched together.

“Yeah. A total bookworm, zero interest in sports, not particularly smart in any subject except English.” Max shrugged. “Way too dependent on my sister, especially when we were really kids, but even now. Mom totally gets that, she’s always accepted how weird Isobel and I are, but our dad never really liked it, I think. He was really pleased when I went for the police academy.” Something he could finally be proud of Max for. “Really disappointed when I quit. Especially quitting to do something like tending bar at the Pony.” A bar that his dad wouldn’t set foot in if he were paid for it. “This’ll just be something else on top of that.” Another disappointment.

“He won’t care you’re dating a doctor?” Kyle asked sympathetically.

“It’ll be pretty overshadowed by the fact that I’m dating a man.” Max rolled his eyes. “Sorry, talk about bringing the mood down.”

“Oh yeah, from the epic high of choosing a suitably tight shirt,” Kyle teased, and Max smiled reluctantly. “It’s fine, Max. It’s okay.”

Max nodded. “I think I’m gonna wear this shirt.”

“Good choice.” Kyle’s smile was warm, and exactly what Max needed. “I’ll see you in an hour, okay?”

“Yeah.” It helped, knowing Kyle would be there when Max arrived.

He drove to Isobel’s next, and played up his cluelessness when she asked for his opinions on her outfit options, laughing when she shooed him away in disgust. Michael arrived next, looking about as happy as if they’d scheduled him for an execution. 

When Max told him as much, he just sighed. “I’m happy it exists and all,” he said, keeping his voice low, “but Planet 7 really isn’t my scene. I’d be happy with the Pony, if I could guarantee I wouldn’t get punched out for kissing a dude there.”

“You’ve been punched out enough times for kissing women there,” Max pointed out, and Michael snorted.

“Yeah, I’ve just got the face for it.”

“Your ability to piss people off is really impressive.”

An expressive eyeroll. “Thanks, Max.” 

They were both silent for a moment, only the sounds of Isobel moving around upstairs filling the quiet. “You don’t really hate Kyle, do you?” Max asked impulsively.

Michael sighed. “No. I mean…no, not so much. I like to rag on him, and I…I know him and Alex are friends now or whatever, but I still can’t forget what he was like in high school.”

“He doesn’t forget either, you know.”

“Mm.” Michael shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, Max. I’m not gonna pull him outside for a fight or anything. Like I said, you could do a lot worse.” He snorted. “A _lot_ worse.”

Max frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.” Michael closed his eyes for a second, then looked at Max, serious as Max had ever seen him. “I’m happy for you, okay? Not everyone gets it this good. It’s not easy, but it can be smooth, at least.”

Smoother than it had been for Michael, Max heard. Michael, who had kept his sexuality a secret and then gotten caught with the first boy he’d fallen for, and been violently attacked for it. And continued to keep it a secret for the next ten years.

“It’s not as smooth as it looks,” he admitted in a low voice. “When I started asking you those questions…” He wasn’t going to tell Michael about Liz’s lab, he couldn’t, but for the first time he sort of wanted to. “It wasn’t easy,” he said, kind of pathetically. “Even a little bit. I’m still, y’know. Definitely not a hundred percent comfortable with it all. We can’t all be like Isobel, I guess.”

“She’s fooling you if you think she’s totally cool with it too,” Michael said, quirking an eyebrow. 

“Are you?” Max asked, looking at him. “I thought you were fine with it all.”

“I am.” Michael smiled, a little bitter. “It’s other people who have the problem. And that _makes_ problems for me, but they’re not problems I have with myself, y’know?”

“Yeah.” Max nodded, turning that over in his head even though he’d guessed it was what Michael would say. “Yeah, I get that.” A horrible thought occurred to him, and he gave Michael a sideways look. “Was I ever one of those problems? Or other people?”

Michael’s expression softened. “Nah. The only thing I had to worry about from you was you being too keen and making assumptions. Like finding out about Alex making you think I was gay.”

Max winced. “Yeah, sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. In hindsight, it’s kinda funny.”

“Turns out I have negative gaydar, or whatever.” Max started to smile, thinking of Kyle telling him that Max’s assumption that he was straight was the only funny part of the whole weirdly-compelled-sex-in-Liz’s-burned-out-lab story.

“That does not surprise me,” Michael sighed, clapping his shoulder as Isobel finally appeared on the upstairs landing and beamed down at them.

“Okay, I’m ready!”

“Only took you ten hours,” Michael grumbled. “Let’s go, before I change my mind.”

“Lighten up, Michael! They even have cowboy hats in there!”

“Doesn’t count if they’re covered in glitter,” Michael muttered, and Max grinned.

Planet 7 wasn’t so bad, when they got there. Max had somehow twisted his own memory of it to become a seedy little nightclub with a packed dancefloor and an underground vibe even if the place didn’t actually have a basement. It was busy, but it certainly wasn’t wall-to-wall dancing, and it was loud, but not louder than the Pony when there was a live band playing. It definitely wasn’t seedy – it was too well-lit for that.

Max could feel his shoulders rising, his spine bending as he tried to hunch and make himself smaller, trying to hide behind Isobel’s height and Michael’s bulk. He almost would have preferred seedy if that meant no one would be able to see his face properly. Isobel told him and Michael to find a table and slid neatly through the crowd to the bar. When Max looked at Michael, he was looking after her a little mournfully.

“What’re the odds of her coming back with something fluorescent with an umbrella in it?” he asked.

“Okay.” Max patted his back, looking around and spotting a booth being vacated by a trio of men, one indeed wearing a sparkly cowboy hat. “Let’s sit down, Chuckles.” At least Michael looked about as uncomfortable as he felt, which Max did feel kind of bad about. “What’s your preferred scene then?” he asked, falling into the booth opposite Michael.

Michael thought about it, looking around with a frown. Max did too, trying to see what he did, and in the process spotted Kyle across the room. Planet 7’s dance floor was opposite the bar, between the two narrow seating areas, and Kyle was talking to a woman with short black hair on the other side of it, a cocktail of some sort in his hand. 

He was in black jeans and a dark t-shirt, no jacket in sight, weight on one foot and a small smile on his face. He looked comfortable, at ease, and Max tried not to let his smile grow too much as he watched him. 

“I don’t know,” Michael admitted, and Max looked back at him, surprised. “I just know it isn’t this.”

“You know, gay rodeos are a thing, apparently,” Max said tentatively, and laughed when Michael did. “What? I read about them! We could go to one.”

“You know what, sure.” Michael grinned. “You find a gay rodeo happening in New Mexico, we can drag Isobel along with us and make a day of it.”

When Isobel came back to their booth, she brought Kyle with her. “Look who I found,” she said brightly, pushing him towards Max’s side of the table and sitting down next to Michael. “So, Kyle.” She smiled like a shark, missing Michael’s surprised smile as she put two beers on the table for him and Max, a tall glass of something fluorescent for herself, umbrella and all. “What are your intentions with our brother?”

“Entirely honourable,” Kyle said smoothly, sitting down next to Max and pressing their shoulders and thighs together. “I would never do anything to besmirch the honour of your family. I have excellent prospects, only the greatest of respect for your brother, and of course I intend to marry him before we so much as sleep in the same house, let alone in the same bed.”

Michael spluttered, almost choking on his beer. Max bit back a smile of his own at Isobel’s own attempt not to laugh and tilted his head towards Kyle. “Excellent prospects, huh?”

“Please, everyone loves doctors.” Kyle grinned at him, hand sliding across Max’s thigh to squeeze his knee a little too hard – the only sign that he might be nervous. “Why do you think I went to med school?”

“To get that sweet, sweet med school debt?” Isobel asked innocently.

“You don’t scare me.” Kyle smirked at her. “I’ve been interrogated by Arturo Ortecho. I’ve seen that man wield a meat cleaver – your mind powers don’t even come close.”

“Hm. He’ll do.” Isobel gave back a smirk of her own. 

Kyle looked to Michael, who blinked, then rolled his eyes. “Max is a big girl; he can pick his own boyfriends. You’re not awful,” he added grudgingly, and Kyle lifted his glass.

“I’ll take it.”

In a surprising (and touching) show of tact, Isobel dragged Michael onto the dance floor as soon as they’d finished their drinks, letting Max have a moment alone with Kyle. “All okay?” Kyle asked, turning his head to speak directly into Max’s ear, nose brushing for a moment against his cheek.

Max nodded, turning to look at him. It was startling, somehow, to see him so close. His brown eyes were black in the dim light, the faint lines around them almost invisible, cheekbones thrown into even sharper relief by the flashing lights from the dance floor. Max smiled, and Kyle’s lips twitched in response. “Thank you,” Max said, probably too quiet to properly hear, but Kyle could read his lips anyway.

“What for?” he laughed.

Max shrugged helplessly, smiling wider. “I don’t know. Everything.”

Kyle grinned, and squeezed his thigh under the table. He leaned in slowly, with plenty of time for Max to signal resistance, but Max leaned in to meet him in the middle for a kiss instead. Kyle punctuated it with another, smaller kiss to the corner of Max’s mouth before drawing back and looking round with an excited look as the song changed. “Okay, I’m like ninety percent sure but I wanna check.” He turned back to Max, a mock-serious look on his face. “Does the name Carly Rae Jepsen mean anything to you?”

“Uhhh.” Max squinted. “She did that _Call Me Maybe_ song?”

“Okay!” Kyle laughed. “Okay, that’s better than I expected!”

“How low were your expectations?” Max protested, unable to help laughing with him.

“Low,” Kyle said, unashamed. “When it comes to you and pop music? Low. Do you wanna dance?”

Max looked beyond him to the dance floor, where a bunch more people had jumped up to dance along to whatever this song was. He could see the occasional flash of Isobel’s fair hair, but Michael’s curls weren’t as visible. “I gotta tell you something,” he said apologetically. “I’m a bad dancer.”

Kyle snorted. “Anyone can dance in a club, come on.” He slid out of the booth and took Max’s hand as he did, pulling gently. Max followed him, already bracing himself for awkwardness. He should’ve had another couple of drinks first, or maybe one of those cocktails, for the higher alcohol content.

Kyle drew him in, already swaying, leading Max a little way into the crowd so they were surrounded by other dancers. “Just bop,” Kyle grinned, giving his shoulders a little shimmy and gesturing at their feet. Max looked down and tried to copy the way Kyle was mostly keeping his feet in the same place, just bouncing his weight on and off his heels to the beat. As soon as he managed to mimic that more-or-less ably, Kyle relaxed and started dancing more, looping an arm around Max’s waist and grinning up at him in a way that made Max laugh. Like Kyle thought he’d actually managed something impressive, instead of something incredibly basic that everyone around them could do in their sleep.

Kyle sang along to the words, or maybe mouthed – it was too loud for Max to tell. He was fluid and easy in his body in a way Max didn’t think he would ever be, and certainly not on a dance floor, but he swept Max along with him. He stayed close, kept at least one hand on him at all times, and actually pouted a couple of songs later when Max mimed getting a drink. He nodded when Max pointed at him though, and leaned close to shout, “Can you get me an energinize?” 

Max nodded, not entirely sure what that was, but he figured he could just get one of whatever it was Kyle had had before if the bartender didn’t understand him. Luckily, the cocktail menu behind the bar had _Ener-gin-ize!_ written in bright green right at the top, so he didn’t have to resort to that. He got another beer for himself and plunged back into the crowd to find Kyle, who was dancing quite happily with Isobel and Michael, who also had a fresh beer in his hand and slightly less of a hangdog expression on his face.

They didn’t quite stay till closing, but they weren’t far off. Isobel was definitely drunk, Michael probably wished he was, and Max wasn’t quite sure how Kyle was still standing after drinking so many cocktails plus the two rounds of shots he and Isobel had knocked back. He was swaying a little, arm around Max’s waist, but he wasn’t even slurring when he looked up at Max and asked, “You coming back to mine or going to Isobel’s?”

“I can take care of her,” Michael said, waving a hand. “Don’t worry about it.”

Isobel drew herself up enough to smack Michael’s shoulder and glared at Kyle. “What happened to marrying him before even _sleeping_ in the same _roof_ , Valenti?”

“Hey, Michael said I can pick my own boyfriends,” Max grinned. 

“Ugh, they grow up so fast.” Isobel pretended to wipe away a tear, then took a slow, deliberate step forwards to cup Max’s face and kiss his forehead. “I love you so much,” she said. “I’m so proud of you.”

Max grinned and managed to peck her cheek in return before she stepped backwards, a little wobblier on her feet in that direction. “I love you too, Iz. And I’m really proud of you too.”

She nodded, accepting that as her due, and turned to Michael. “Michael –”

“You can tell me how much you love me on the way home, come on.” He was smiling though. “Our car’s round the corner.”

Kyle had an app for Uber or Lyft or something, Max wasn’t sure. They rode back to Kyle’s in comfortable silence, and Max waited till they were safely inside before taking Kyle’s face in his hands and kissing him deeply, kind of loving the way it made Kyle melt, a shivery little hum coming out of his throat as he wrapped his arms around Max and kissed him back.

“I hope you know I’m way too drunk to even make out for much longer,” he murmured, leaning against the wall just inside the door.

“You hold it really well.”

“Work hard, play hard.” Kyle smiled up at him through half-closed eyes. “Sleep hard too. C’mon, Evans. Take me to bed.”

Max kissed him again, softer, then did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Accidentally wrote a fic where not a single straight character has a speaking role, and I love that for me. 😎


End file.
